“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You obviously also suffered, however. Bringing such matters to the surface serves many more purposes than is apparent, therefore. It means that you refuse to let old habits any longer rule, and each such encounter is an exercise in learning how to express and communicate your feelings each to the other.

I am speaking now of you both. You did not communicate your concern to each other, therefore you did not communicate your hopes. You, now, did for some time get into the habit of nonsmiling, which led Ruburt to further reinforce his own negative ideas of what you are thinking. But all of the symptoms now represent aspects of your lives that you have not faced in a normal above-the-board fashion. It is not so much that you have not solved them, as that you let communication about them gradually fade away.

Reasons have been given to you in the past, but you can break the habit now by expressing your emotions to each other, and so indeed you must. One of the deep disappointments that neither of you have faced is the difference between what your personal relationship is and what it could and should be.

Your habits both became extremely sloppy in that regard, and it was easy for both of you to justify the lack of increasingly rewarding emotional interaction by saying it went into your separate work, and into our work.

Now Ruburt took this out physically, and blocked emotions, not from the distant past but a current life-habit, now shows these blocked emotions. Again, he suffers more from the lack of rich emotional interaction than you; he is less able to take it.

The same feeling often pervades your own attitude when you think of Ruburt’s symptoms. You think you are being realistic. You are instead giving into old patterns of emotion, and you can break this habit. You are afraid then not of the negative emotional release—which meant, to the degree mentioned, safety—but of the joyful loving emotions. Part of this had to do with your father’s disappointment in business, and his (underlined) reaction to it.