“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt was correct then in those statements he made last evening, having to do with the balance of routine and spontaneity, for his nature does need both. So does yours, incidentally, though this is not nearly as apparent. You were not living clearly in the sensual, physical world, in that large amounts of energy were being used to repress physical communication.

Such a discussion also serves to force Ruburt to say what he thinks, clarifies his own feelings, for he is not used to vocalizing them. Doing this alone can help him understand them more clearly.

Aggression or fear may rise up. If so face those feelings honestly, for they have been backed up within you. All of this serves to clear the air, opening the channels of communication, so that you do not have to be wondering what the other one is up to now.

Your relationship and your lives in general, you see, follow certain definite patterns set by you. Your work and your relationship are interwoven. You have not allowed yourselves the leeway, or the excuses either, that people do with families or a large number of interests. If you do not find emotional satisfaction with each other you do not find it, in other words. The whole problem however involves your work also, and solving one problem solves the other. Finding release in one gives you release in the other, and both of you chose therefore a life situation and framework in which precisely those problems you have tired to ignore should serve as challenges and impetuses.

You can break the pattern then at any time. This should help you do so, by present, current action. Often you are so involved with feelings you had in the past that you do not know what you are feeling in the present. There are richly creative emotional founts within you both. Each of you know this and sense it.

You would do far better by trying to bring these out into the open on your own parts and encourage them on the part of your mate; the angers or aggressions or misunderstandings, when you let them out and discuss them and feel them. You try to be, both of you, too mental and intellectual about your emotions, thinking them away if possible rather than freely admitting them.

If he did not expect much there was nothing be could lose. Do you follow me?

The same feeling often pervades your own attitude when you think of Ruburt’s symptoms. You think you are being realistic. You are instead giving into old patterns of emotion, and you can break this habit. You are afraid then not of the negative emotional release—which meant, to the degree mentioned, safety—but of the joyful loving emotions. Part of this had to do with your father’s disappointment in business, and his (underlined) reaction to it.

Part of it had to do with your distrust of such emotion when it was displayed by your mother. You felt it could be smothering, for you sensed the reasons behind her smothering love for her sons. When you begin to sense you might be getting somewhere then you become suspicious instantly, inhibit the feeling in the name of realism.

You do not look at each other freshly. You cannot examine your feelings, though you think you do, because you do not honestly come to grips with them nor express them. As far as the relationship is concerned you face each other distantly. Out of the potential relationship interactions are possible that will make great changes in your lives, your individual work, and our work.

You are both indeed lucky, for you do have a firm basis from which to work. It is not that you do not have an “ideal” in quotes relationship; but you had lost that feeling of the potentials within you. Your relationship fell so far below those standards, and you are so closely bound together, that his would show in all areas.

Our sessions, both of your creative works, the good you have done and are doing, the health that you have maintained—no serious organic defects—all of this is testament to what you have done.

Neither of you would have been willing to do the work required earlier.

You obviously did not completely do this, or the affair would be far worse. You no longer made each other laugh or cry. Do you follow me?