“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

This will automatically break down some projections, clear the air, but more than this the repressed energy being used to prevent communication, open communication, is physically and psychically released.

You went to some good degree toward breaking some of those patterns last evening and today, but the issues of your lives should be clearly discussed and not hidden. The problems were being taken out of the physical realm, where you could indeed handle them, into a mental realm, where you tried to hide them.

I am speaking now of you both. You did not communicate your concern to each other, therefore you did not communicate your hopes. You, now, did for some time get into the habit of nonsmiling, which led Ruburt to further reinforce his own negative ideas of what you are thinking. But all of the symptoms now represent aspects of your lives that you have not faced in a normal above-the-board fashion. It is not so much that you have not solved them, as that you let communication about them gradually fade away.

Ruburt can be far more helpful than you realize, in helping with those solutions. Your lives in many ways did not satisfy you, but rather than accept this fact clearly and cast about for what changes or solutions there might be, both of you tried to keep everything precisely (underlined) as it was, make no changes, and live with the dissatisfaction that became a constant inner problem.

The breaking of schedules is extremely beneficial for you also and would have made your outside job less burdensome in the past. It serves to give you a feeling of freedom, and open the way to unstructured emotional release. This, with the information given in the last session, if followed, can help you greatly, and clear Ruburt’s symptoms; but not if the advice is not followed.

Reasons have been given to you in the past, but you can break the habit now by expressing your emotions to each other, and so indeed you must. One of the deep disappointments that neither of you have faced is the difference between what your personal relationship is and what it could and should be.

Your relationship is a good one, compared to most an excellent one, but you know your inner potentials, and the potentials of that relationship, and how much you have to some degree failed it. Obviously you have not entirely failed by any means, and you have always maintained an underground basis of loyalty and love; but you are each deeply disappointed with that relationship compared to what you know it can be.

The sexual aspect is but a symptom of this. You were both afraid in varying degrees of emotional contact of a strong nature. In the early days or years of your relationship these patterns were submerged largely. Your tendency to avoid such encounters was much more apparent then than Ruburt’s.

Now Ruburt took this out physically, and blocked emotions, not from the distant past but a current life-habit, now shows these blocked emotions. Again, he suffers more from the lack of rich emotional interaction than you; he is less able to take it.

The same feeling often pervades your own attitude when you think of Ruburt’s symptoms. You think you are being realistic. You are instead giving into old patterns of emotion, and you can break this habit. You are afraid then not of the negative emotional release—which meant, to the degree mentioned, safety—but of the joyful loving emotions. Part of this had to do with your father’s disappointment in business, and his (underlined) reaction to it.

You related in terms of your work, or our work, or as a couple with others. Now resentment against each other grew. Many would be far more than satisfied with your relationship, but you set yourselves high goals, both in your work and in your personal lifelong relationship with each other, and you suffer when you are not true to this.

You are both indeed lucky, for you do have a firm basis from which to work. It is not that you do not have an “ideal” in quotes relationship; but you had lost that feeling of the potentials within you. Your relationship fell so far below those standards, and you are so closely bound together, that his would show in all areas.