“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You obviously also suffered, however. Bringing such matters to the surface serves many more purposes than is apparent, therefore. It means that you refuse to let old habits any longer rule, and each such encounter is an exercise in learning how to express and communicate your feelings each to the other.

I am speaking now of you both. You did not communicate your concern to each other, therefore you did not communicate your hopes. You, now, did for some time get into the habit of nonsmiling, which led Ruburt to further reinforce his own negative ideas of what you are thinking. But all of the symptoms now represent aspects of your lives that you have not faced in a normal above-the-board fashion. It is not so much that you have not solved them, as that you let communication about them gradually fade away.

You would do far better by trying to bring these out into the open on your own parts and encourage them on the part of your mate; the angers or aggressions or misunderstandings, when you let them out and discuss them and feel them. You try to be, both of you, too mental and intellectual about your emotions, thinking them away if possible rather than freely admitting them.

Your symptoms lay in a different area, and I am sure you know where. They show up in your creative work, for otherwise you would have been far freer. Your creative work therefore shows the emotional depriving aspects. You have not been able to let yourself go fully in them, as Ruburt has not been able to go freely with his body.

Now, this is the basic problem. The basic reasons for both Ruburt’s symptoms and the holdback in your own work, and the answer to both lies in learning how to release yourselves to yourselves, to let your own emotional natures relate to each other. You must get over the hump therefore of being afraid of your emotions, both of you.