“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now it was on the one hand feigned behavior, but the symptoms had to be bothersome enough or they would not have served their purpose. To some extent verbal communication was also minimized. Your “condition” effectively kept Ruburt from making any demands, or from putting any verbal pressure upon you, for he rushed of course to your support.

There was also, even then, in the back of your mind the feeling that personally you could use the sessions for information in which you were highly interested, and you suspected that Ruburt would not share the feeling, or would even unconsciously block it.

(This I did not suspect.) Another point. You also felt that the symptoms would take Ruburt’s mind off of his own for a change, and also let you see how, if or when your reactions to other people were changed or altered because of your indisposition. (They were.)

His attempt to have you encourage him up and down and running, is a not-too-well disguised attempt for further emotional involvement on your part. He would be as upset as you over a smothering closeness. However often he simply feels lonely—not necessarily for your physical presence, for you are often in the house, but for emotional recognition that you are apt to forget about.

He has mixed feelings about you and his book. On the one hand he would like you to read it as he goes along, and at times he envisions enthusiastic discussions about it. He thinks you have emotionally closed off from it since you never ask him about it. On the other hand he fears your disapproval and criticism, and thinks you will look for flaws, and so he lets matters stand there.

(There is some element of truth in the above; but also I feel that Jane would rather I wait until she has the book typed up perhaps halfway before I begin to read it. I can change this idea. I had the idea she would rather I didn’t interfere with the gestation of her books—at least this is the way my reading of them seems to have worked out in the past.)

(I agree with this data. I would add however that for me to be asked occasionally would not be a sign that I was emotionally far away. I expect to be asked, I suppose, when I do forget. I forget without attaching any significance to the forgetting.)

The morning situation can be handled from any of numerous standpoints, but they should be emotional standpoints. He can imagine himself up ahead of you, as he thought of, surprising you with your breakfast already prepared. That is one solution. It would help if you kissed him in the morning, and made some emotional supportive gesture that also encouraged him to get up.

Now we will have some sessions as you would like, along the lines of your personal affairs, and resume dictation as we all see fit. Does that suit your fancy? I do not want you to have a laughing fit.

(“Yes....” There followed a short exchange between Seth and me, after he asked if I had any questions. I mentioned the one I’d come up with the other day: what other names has he had in various lives? A list of the names would be interesting, I thought. Seth agreed. He now suggested I ask the question again later, saying the list would run several pages long. He then wished us goodnight in his usual manner, at 10:50.

If he were in good condition on weekends, he would have to ask himself then why he was not good during the week. The self-deception, you see, could not be so easily maintained.