“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Before the session I asked that Seth discuss two questions. 1: Why Jane’s knees had been so bothersome lately when she was obviously making good progress otherwise? 2: Why I caught a “cold” last week?

You will have to let me handle this in my own way—the matter of your symptoms and Ruburt’s knees, but for a starter we will begin with you. The pain in your side was a reaction against the first group of symptoms—they gave you a pain in the side. You were angry at yourself for not feeling well.

The earlier group of symptoms resulted from several causes. First of all they were in a way, a way of handling a situation. You were not sure that it was safe to communicate spontaneously or easily—emotionally or sexually, with Ruburt following the two personal sessions. (The two deleted sessions of November 30 & December 2.) The cold effectively kept you from physical contact.

Now it was on the one hand feigned behavior, but the symptoms had to be bothersome enough or they would not have served their purpose. To some extent verbal communication was also minimized. Your “condition” effectively kept Ruburt from making any demands, or from putting any verbal pressure upon you, for he rushed of course to your support.

You felt to some extent that you had fallen down in taking advantage of the sessions, that you were not putting into practice certain behavior there suggested. (True.) There were of course other reasons also. The question you asked in our sessions was in your mind symbolic of a lack of communication still between you and Ruburt, at deeper levels. (The question about the Claire TV show.)

There was also, even then, in the back of your mind the feeling that personally you could use the sessions for information in which you were highly interested, and you suspected that Ruburt would not share the feeling, or would even unconsciously block it.

The question that you asked concerning the (TV) program was symbolic in your mind to other information—

Now. Woven in all of this was the communication issue, and to some extent the symptoms served another allied and complementary purpose. You thought you might be able to understand something of Ruburt’s problem, and you were willing to take a day or two out to feel badly.

The symptoms were also meant to frighten Ruburt, to shock him, to shake him up, and then hopefully do him some good, as he saw how it was to have someone around all the time who did not feel very well.

(9:32. Jane’s voice was soft throughout. She said her trance was good, yet she was aware of wanting a cigarette at the same time. She hasn’t been smoking as much when near me this past week because the smoke irritates. Now I wondered how it was possible for Jane to want a cigarette if her trance was so deep, etc. Resume at 9:45.)

(I had a brief coughing spell here, which of course hurt the side. This happened a few times during the first part of the session—usually at key bits of material. Finally Seth let me know in a good loud voice, that he hoped I noted the spots at which I coughed. I said I was aware of the connection, etc.)

You have not been able to ignore him since he had his symptoms. You might be angry at him, in which case there was a definite emotional response, or disgusted; he thought in the past, the dim past, disgusted enough to leave him—but you could not ignore him.

They also served to see to it that the two of you spent more time together. Then he felt that all he meant to you was contained in the sessions, that as a woman and a wife you found him far less fascinating. Other background information you have been given, and this is background for what is coming.

It was during your illness that he began to watch your face for a hint of your mood and feelings—a tendency he has relinquished only lately. The physical signs of improvement have been most beneficial to him, forcing him to recognize that betterment is not only possible but has occurred.

(I agree with this data. I would add however that for me to be asked occasionally would not be a sign that I was emotionally far away. I expect to be asked, I suppose, when I do forget. I forget without attaching any significance to the forgetting.)

Now. Several other points that we will elaborate on later. In his books he is facing challenges he did not face earlier. Before, a book was a novel. He wrote it through, and that was the end of it. It was all intuitive, emotional and fictional. He did not need to deal with details, the same kind of organization and overall planning.

A draft took him little time. The nonfiction involves him in projects that are of longer duration, and he is handling them very well. He was used to more frequent creative challenges, lesser ones in a way, rather than long-term projects, and he was not capable in the past of the planning for example that is now a part of his creative endeavors.

If he were in good condition on weekends, he would have to ask himself then why he was not good during the week. The self-deception, you see, could not be so easily maintained.

(Jane agreed to make an effort to think of it this way. In any event, she got up with me rather easily this morning [Tuesday], and told me her knees felt better than they had in some time. It was obvious from her actions.)