“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The symptoms were also meant to frighten Ruburt, to shock him, to shake him up, and then hopefully do him some good, as he saw how it was to have someone around all the time who did not feel very well.

(9:32. Jane’s voice was soft throughout. She said her trance was good, yet she was aware of wanting a cigarette at the same time. She hasn’t been smoking as much when near me this past week because the smoke irritates. Now I wondered how it was possible for Jane to want a cigarette if her trance was so deep, etc. Resume at 9:45.)

(I had a brief coughing spell here, which of course hurt the side. This happened a few times during the first part of the session—usually at key bits of material. Finally Seth let me know in a good loud voice, that he hoped I noted the spots at which I coughed. I said I was aware of the connection, etc.)

Your personality structures simply respond at times of course to different stimuli. Both of you can learn to modify these characteristics, but understanding them is basic. Ruburt responds, generally, to people. One reason of course for the classes, and their success. But behind Ruburt’s outgoing characteristics you run into some rather restrictive ones that are more on the surface, generally speaking, in your personality.

Once someone gets through your surface restrictive tendencies, obvious ones, then your spontaneity flows to the surface. Once someone gets through Ruburt’s open spontaneous characteristics they are apt to wonder what happened, because he will often not let them get any further. (A very acute pair of points.) Hence the fact that his students remain students as a rule, and not personal friends. As you know, those who get through all the way find a bedrock loyalty. But the spontaneous emotional character warms up, brightens, and refreshes what can be a morose inner self at times. Therefore your emotional response to him is important for that reason.

Now. Give us some time on this, and remember we have not given that particular material in that way before. (True.) He felt that you ignored him when you became ill—that you were growing so morose that you felt life meaningless. Then the sessions came (in 1963), and he felt they had saved you both.

They also served to see to it that the two of you spent more time together. Then he felt that all he meant to you was contained in the sessions, that as a woman and a wife you found him far less fascinating. Other background information you have been given, and this is background for what is coming.

He has mixed feelings about you and his book. On the one hand he would like you to read it as he goes along, and at times he envisions enthusiastic discussions about it. He thinks you have emotionally closed off from it since you never ask him about it. On the other hand he fears your disapproval and criticism, and thinks you will look for flaws, and so he lets matters stand there.

A draft took him little time. The nonfiction involves him in projects that are of longer duration, and he is handling them very well. He was used to more frequent creative challenges, lesser ones in a way, rather than long-term projects, and he was not capable in the past of the planning for example that is now a part of his creative endeavors.

(Once again I had to take the time to laugh, or try to, very cautiously. Jane, as Seth, smiled.)

(Jane agreed to make an effort to think of it this way. In any event, she got up with me rather easily this morning [Tuesday], and told me her knees felt better than they had in some time. It was obvious from her actions.)