“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The earlier group of symptoms resulted from several causes. First of all they were in a way, a way of handling a situation. You were not sure that it was safe to communicate spontaneously or easily—emotionally or sexually, with Ruburt following the two personal sessions. (The two deleted sessions of November 30 & December 2.) The cold effectively kept you from physical contact.

Once someone gets through your surface restrictive tendencies, obvious ones, then your spontaneity flows to the surface. Once someone gets through Ruburt’s open spontaneous characteristics they are apt to wonder what happened, because he will often not let them get any further. (A very acute pair of points.) Hence the fact that his students remain students as a rule, and not personal friends. As you know, those who get through all the way find a bedrock loyalty. But the spontaneous emotional character warms up, brightens, and refreshes what can be a morose inner self at times. Therefore your emotional response to him is important for that reason.

The knees are a symbol of the problems of course still remaining. He enjoyed your massaging them, but he did not want to ask you to do so, for he saw it as a sign of emotional giving on your part that must be spontaneous, and not asked for or demanded.