“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The earlier group of symptoms resulted from several causes. First of all they were in a way, a way of handling a situation. You were not sure that it was safe to communicate spontaneously or easily—emotionally or sexually, with Ruburt following the two personal sessions. (The two deleted sessions of November 30 & December 2.) The cold effectively kept you from physical contact.

There was also, even then, in the back of your mind the feeling that personally you could use the sessions for information in which you were highly interested, and you suspected that Ruburt would not share the feeling, or would even unconsciously block it.

Your personality structures simply respond at times of course to different stimuli. Both of you can learn to modify these characteristics, but understanding them is basic. Ruburt responds, generally, to people. One reason of course for the classes, and their success. But behind Ruburt’s outgoing characteristics you run into some rather restrictive ones that are more on the surface, generally speaking, in your personality.

Once someone gets through your surface restrictive tendencies, obvious ones, then your spontaneity flows to the surface. Once someone gets through Ruburt’s open spontaneous characteristics they are apt to wonder what happened, because he will often not let them get any further. (A very acute pair of points.) Hence the fact that his students remain students as a rule, and not personal friends. As you know, those who get through all the way find a bedrock loyalty. But the spontaneous emotional character warms up, brightens, and refreshes what can be a morose inner self at times. Therefore your emotional response to him is important for that reason.

Now we will have some sessions as you would like, along the lines of your personal affairs, and resume dictation as we all see fit. Does that suit your fancy? I do not want you to have a laughing fit.