“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Jane’s knees had been poor for some weeks. According to my own troubles, my pendulum insisted that I did not have a cold, even though I had all the symptoms. I came down with it after asking Seth last Monday, December 7, whether the taped session we’d made for the Claire TV show in Washington had been shown yet. My pendulum also told me that communication problems involving Jane, other than the TV show question, caused the “cold,” etc.

The earlier group of symptoms resulted from several causes. First of all they were in a way, a way of handling a situation. You were not sure that it was safe to communicate spontaneously or easily—emotionally or sexually, with Ruburt following the two personal sessions. (The two deleted sessions of November 30 & December 2.) The cold effectively kept you from physical contact.

Now it was on the one hand feigned behavior, but the symptoms had to be bothersome enough or they would not have served their purpose. To some extent verbal communication was also minimized. Your “condition” effectively kept Ruburt from making any demands, or from putting any verbal pressure upon you, for he rushed of course to your support.

You felt to some extent that you had fallen down in taking advantage of the sessions, that you were not putting into practice certain behavior there suggested. (True.) There were of course other reasons also. The question you asked in our sessions was in your mind symbolic of a lack of communication still between you and Ruburt, at deeper levels. (The question about the Claire TV show.)

—hence again the question of communication. Do you follow me?

You were quite struck by the lack of communication between yourself and your mother yesterday. (In Sayre.) Or rather, you realized that she communicated her feelings very well, and her lack of understanding, while you communicated less; although your attitude in itself there is of course a communication. And I do know of your outburst.

Now. Woven in all of this was the communication issue, and to some extent the symptoms served another allied and complementary purpose. You thought you might be able to understand something of Ruburt’s problem, and you were willing to take a day or two out to feel badly.

Beside this you thought sometimes that Ruburt thought of nothing but himself, and you were saying “Look at me, I am no superman,” and so actually you were looking for communications that it seemed you did not want in the early part of the cycle.