“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You will have to let me handle this in my own way—the matter of your symptoms and Ruburt’s knees, but for a starter we will begin with you. The pain in your side was a reaction against the first group of symptoms—they gave you a pain in the side. You were angry at yourself for not feeling well.

(This I did not suspect.) Another point. You also felt that the symptoms would take Ruburt’s mind off of his own for a change, and also let you see how, if or when your reactions to other people were changed or altered because of your indisposition. (They were.)

(I had a brief coughing spell here, which of course hurt the side. This happened a few times during the first part of the session—usually at key bits of material. Finally Seth let me know in a good loud voice, that he hoped I noted the spots at which I coughed. I said I was aware of the connection, etc.)

Once someone gets through your surface restrictive tendencies, obvious ones, then your spontaneity flows to the surface. Once someone gets through Ruburt’s open spontaneous characteristics they are apt to wonder what happened, because he will often not let them get any further. (A very acute pair of points.) Hence the fact that his students remain students as a rule, and not personal friends. As you know, those who get through all the way find a bedrock loyalty. But the spontaneous emotional character warms up, brightens, and refreshes what can be a morose inner self at times. Therefore your emotional response to him is important for that reason.

He has mixed feelings about you and his book. On the one hand he would like you to read it as he goes along, and at times he envisions enthusiastic discussions about it. He thinks you have emotionally closed off from it since you never ask him about it. On the other hand he fears your disapproval and criticism, and thinks you will look for flaws, and so he lets matters stand there.