“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Since I have great faith in the pendulum, I wanted to know why it insisted that I did not have a cold—when I had felt poor indeed all week. I hadn’t tried to do any in-depth probing with the pendulum.)

—hence again the question of communication. Do you follow me?

You were quite struck by the lack of communication between yourself and your mother yesterday. (In Sayre.) Or rather, you realized that she communicated her feelings very well, and her lack of understanding, while you communicated less; although your attitude in itself there is of course a communication. And I do know of your outburst.

The symptoms were also meant to frighten Ruburt, to shock him, to shake him up, and then hopefully do him some good, as he saw how it was to have someone around all the time who did not feel very well.

The knees seemed all the more obvious by contrast, and to some extent then he focused upon them. He sees the two of you together, doing your own thing, but emotionally in rich interaction. This is what he wants.

The knees are a symbol of the problems of course still remaining. He enjoyed your massaging them, but he did not want to ask you to do so, for he saw it as a sign of emotional giving on your part that must be spontaneous, and not asked for or demanded.

(I agree with this data. I would add however that for me to be asked occasionally would not be a sign that I was emotionally far away. I expect to be asked, I suppose, when I do forget. I forget without attaching any significance to the forgetting.)

Now the ramblings about in your apartment in their own way often serve this end. The emotional quality of furniture appeals to him, and without knowing it the emotional qualities of space do also.

At the risk of being repetitive: if he concentrates upon his work, the morning issue will take care of itself, and by work I mean not only his writing, but his own individual psychic endeavors. He measures what he does daily against what you do daily, and feels automatically guilty if you do more than he, or even if he is doing watercolors while you are typing a session.

He still feels guilty about you going to work in the morning, and not getting up just rubs his nose in it further. He is saying “I may not have to go out to work like you do, but I am punishing myself for it, so do not blame me.”

Now we will have some sessions as you would like, along the lines of your personal affairs, and resume dictation as we all see fit. Does that suit your fancy? I do not want you to have a laughing fit.

—and then on weekends, when you do not have to go to work, he feels bad when you have to see him.

(“How do you mean?”)