“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I know what happened, and yet consciously I’ll never grasp all of the psychic ramifications involved. The day after Jane died I went back to work, finishing the last two Seth books to meet long-overdue publishing deadlines. Jane’s and my dear friend, Debbie Harris, began making copies of all of the Seth sessions, plus the transcripts of Jane’s ESP classes, for the “collection” of Jane’s and my work in the archives of Yale University Library. But while I kept myself busy, and presented a smiling face to the world, I was numb inside. I cried for my wife several times a day for a year. Even though it’s simultaneous, according to Seth, I needed “time” for my long journey of recovery.

Jane and I had corresponded with Laurel Lee Davies for several years. Five months after my wife’s death, I called Laurel, who was an administrative assistant at a center for the arts and humanities in Los Angeles, California, for the first time. As the many hours of our calls quickly accumulated, Laurel and I came to understand through dreams that we had shared reincarnational relationships. In August of that year — 1985 — she moved to Elmira to work with me in a number of ways. She helped me carry on the massive project of continuing the work that Debbie Harris had begun: copying many more of the thousands of pages of Jane’s and my work for the archives of the library at Yale. She answered mail, and put together a mailing list. She helped me proofread Seth, Dreams, and Projection of Consciousness for Stillpoint Publishing. Later, she helped me proofread the new editions of Seth Speaks and The Nature of Personal Reality that Amber-Allen/New World Library has published. She’s worked as a researcher of Jane’s material for The Magical Approach — the book she has “most dreamed of working on.” Laurel has been Seth’s “metaphysical apprentice,” as she recently put it, for fourteen years now. Even with our differences, our supportive and complicated relationship continues. Yet even so, as the years passed I began to better see that recovery from Jane’s death was going to take the rest of my life; and that within the framework of simultaneous time uncounted millions of others had experienced that truth, were doing so now, and would be doing so. Maybe some day I’ll write in detail about Jane’s and my lives — but not now!

Our beloved books began to go out of print, one by one, as sales slowly declined. I thought the letters from readers would also slack off. They did to some extent — but to my surprise and pleasure they continued to arrive at that slower but steady pace. I tried hard to answer each one of them. (I still do, although at this writing I’m far behind. I’ve let answering any but immediate business mail go while Laurel and I worked on the manuscript for The Magical Approach.)

For several years after Jane’s death, I explored possible publishing ventures with old and trusted friends — people who, like Richard Kendall and Suzanne Delisle, sincerely wanted to see Jane’s and my work kept in print. Richard had been a member of Jane’s ESP class in the 1970s. Following her passing, as a paralegal he was also a great help in resolving some old and troublesome publishing hassles. At the same time, I wondered often if it was of any use to try publishing Seth books, old or new — why do so, if sales were falling? Maybe people were tired of the Seth material. Maybe Jane and I had already offered the best we could, for whatever our efforts were worth. The world would certainly go on, regardless.

Our books continued to go out of print, and in 1990 I began working with Anne Marie O’Farrell, a literary agent. She’s married to Rick Stack, a writer, publisher, and lecturer involving things psychic; he too was a member of ESP class. Without Anne Marie’s untiring help, I question whether I’d still be in publishing. For she “found” Janet Mills and Amber-Allen/New World Library. Like Laurel, both women are passionately interested in keeping Jane’s work in print. Janet told me, after publishing the first two reprints, that she “would like to publish all of the books at once.” And added that she was already getting requests to do just that.

In 1993, I saw the culmination of three ventures that I’d been involved in for varying periods of time: Lynda Dahl and Stan Ulkowski, of Seth Network International, published the first quarterly issue of the newly expanded Seth-oriented magazine, Reality Change. (RC, as everyone calls it, was founded by Maude Cardwell in June 1980; she began it as a two-page mimeographed newsletter.) Richard Roberts, of Vernal Equinox Press, published A Seth Reader, a volume consisting of excerpts from six of the Seth books. And Bob Terrio, of Bob Terrio Productions, marketed a video, The Seth Phenomena, in which I discuss Jane’s and my work.

I’m very fortunate that the help of all of those I’ve mentioned, and of others, too, is enabling me to keep the promise I made to Jane on her deathbed ten years ago, when she asked me to publish all of her work. I know that my wife lives within me now, as I do within her “where she is now” — just as we shared ourselves with each other throughout the nearly twenty-nine years of our marriage. That simultaneous time passed with unbelievable depth and swiftness.