“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

For some time you had consciously considered various roads that you could take, but subconsciously you became more and more alarmed, and felt severely hampered in your progress.

While you tried to deal with them on a conscious level, you became more and more frightened of them, and more and more you began to try to dissociate yourself from them. They were a part of you however, and sought expression.

The family all knew, subconsciously again, that the dog had to go. Everyone was overly nice to the dog, so no one would know consciously, what they knew subconsciously—that you considered the dog the symbol of failure. It was a closely guarded secret by all, hidden, but not entirely, from the conscious minds of those involved. No one wanted the dog killed, but it was not coincidence that you yourself loosened the dog’s collar, or that your wife was the one who left the dog; for symbolically the two of you were connected here. Now give us a moment. The act itself was symbolic, and the dog picked up all of your attitudes through its own sense of communication.

You were particularly frightened during vacation because of the inactivity. Old fears were aroused that you have never faced consciously. You never faced them honestly. You are terrified of inactivity, for many reasons: bodily inactivity, mental inactivity, some of this based upon fear of your mother’s disease. You must go, go, go, to prove that you can do so, and any threat to your mobility is not only strongly felt but negatively exaggerated.

This also applies symbolically, and during your vacation, and before it, was one fear that you had not come to terms with. You would consider it beneath you, and unmanly to entertain, and consciously improbable, if you left your job and did not get another—could not get another, of comparable merit indeed.

You do have full freedom to move, both physically and in the economic world. You allowed negative patterns of thought to take an upper hand, and fears to predominate. These fears were then symbolically acted out by the body. You do have freedom in your joints, for example. I will try to put this simply.

Now you can reverse this process. Negative habits of thought, and withheld feelings and emotions got you into this, and the same, backwards, can get you out.

Give us a moment. (Pause.) The illness has not been thrust upon you, and this is your freedom. Since you have done this to your body, you can stop doing it. Try to become more alert to your own stream of consciousness. Notice when you are giving yourself negative suggestions.

If you catch yourself thinking when something hurts, “I am sore,” then ask yourself what you are sore about. You do have freedom, several choices as far as your professional life is concerned. You are overemphasizing the negative aspects of that situation, and the overemphasis makes you feel trapped and powerless.