“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You have been concentrating emotionally, and at a certain level, upon failure. Now you translate activity into many areas. You have been frightened of your mother’s disease, and you have also translated a fear of inactivity into other than physical realms.

To protect yourself from her disease you had to move quickly physically. You also had to move quickly in the area of work. You were sensitized because of your mother’s problem to fear inactivity. Any threat to your motion or advance, even in the business area, becomes highly charged for this reason. Earlier you felt that you could strike out. There was plenty of time. Then you became frightened after the age of 35, and you began to soften up your blows. (Jane gestured widely, with a fist.) You began to hold back, become more cautious, and then slowly began to entertain thoughts of the possibility of failure.

I suggest however that you freely express both bitterness and discontent when you feel them, whenever possible. Do not put it off in other words unless you must. If you are in a position where this is difficult now then imagine the bitterness or discontent is a football, and you are kicking it with all your might. This in itself will activate the legs and feet and prevent you from further stiffening those areas.

Now you are also underestimating your own worth, and you have done so consistently for some time. You would be the last to say that that is so, and the reasons are too deep-seated to go into this evening. This underestimation of your own worth leads you to place an overemphasis upon your financial worth to your family. It is in this personal area that a basic fear exists also. This is a high simplification, but you feel that your value as a person and as a man in the family situation is determined not only by your ability to provide, but increases in proportion to your financial status.