“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now he has been ten or so minutes late at session time, and the reason I should think is fairly obvious. It was also the reason why he suggested beginning a session earlier (this evening at supper time), though he did not know this; and in any case what he suggested, on regular terms, was not really what he wanted.

This was on his part simply an attempt for spontaneity. The spontaneous self had risen up against what it considered the rigidity of beginning a session at a particular moment. He began then craftily so that sessions began after nine o’clock, and then suggested the earlier hour. Now this is simply a minor and temporary element, originally because he has begun his Thursday classes and is therefore further regulated.

This was largely the basis for your reaction this evening. The psychic work with Ruburt has a strong spontaneous nature, and at times he resents, while he also needs, the regular schedules that you seem to require physically.

Your family in this life has always been determined upon longevity, and you pace your energy. Ruburt has not. The ways are simply different. Now your father paced himself unwisely. You are not making the same mistake. In many ways your mother was also wiser. Although your reactions at times may be different, and although you may not agree with me, still Ruburt will rarely be unrealistic in understanding or in utilizing methods that are highly practical, though neither of you may understand them as such.

(At 9:50 Jane paused, but obviously was still in a trance.

(Sometimes my comments to Seth are rather cryptic because of the time it takes to speak to him and write out the statement at the same time. Often the groundwork has been laid before a session, also, so that the brief comments merely reminds me of what was said earlier, without going into detail.

(Naturally I found all this quite interesting. I was aware of none of it while making the two small oil sketches in September 1968. I now knew which two Seth referred to; strangely enough, I hadn’t thought of them as being of the same personality at all. I don’t think they bear any striking resemblance to each other, though in a general way they could be of the same type of person. After the session Jane told me that she knew at once, after I had finished them, that they were of the same person; she took it for granted that I knew this also.

(Actually, each sketch, perhaps four inches square, was done to solve technical problems I was concerned with in the series of portraits I am painting. Each was successful in its own way, and opened several doors. I might add that I was somewhat surprised at the ease and success of these two sketches.)

His struggles with his nurses (which are violent) are struggles to escape physical bonds, and to be away. He did not use his vitality in his manhood joyfully or fully or explosively, either in work, nor purpose, nor family. Therefore it lingers, and he cannot disentangle himself from it. He paced himself out of jealousy of his energy, so that it outlived him. It was not focused in work. It was unfocused.

Now. Because it was not used it outlives him. He kept it in isolation and was jealous of it, and did not allow it joy nor freedom.

He was jealous of all (underlined) of his sons, not because your mother seemed to prefer them, but because he saw his own energy and life force giving independence in ways he could not control. He knows better now, but he is still left with the dilemma of freeing himself completely, and beginning again.

He was (underlined) most jealous of you. You will yet do a portrait of him, for you cannot yet avoid the issue. Are your fingers tired?

(10:52. I thought this was the end of the session. Jane’s trance was obviously deep and I began to urge her out of it verbally. After a while she began to talk to me, slowly, yet gave every sign of continuing the session on her own, and in the highly emotional manner of the 435th session of September 11, 1968. This I wanted to prevent; even while she told me that Seth protected her, she began to whimper, eyes closed, and talk about my father.

(Jane had resumed her seat. I was somewhat dismayed to see her abruptly resume the session, as Seth, at 11:05.)