“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He is well aware of your mother’s vitality, and she is well aware subconsciously that her vitality still goads him into a semblance of reaction. She still acts as a stimuli, as you know. In one way she forces him to stay when he would retire, and when her thoughts are not strongly with him he will attempt to escape further.

His struggles with his nurses (which are violent) are struggles to escape physical bonds, and to be away. He did not use his vitality in his manhood joyfully or fully or explosively, either in work, nor purpose, nor family. Therefore it lingers, and he cannot disentangle himself from it. He paced himself out of jealousy of his energy, so that it outlived him. It was not focused in work. It was unfocused.

He never served, truly, as a male image for you or your brothers. Both of your parents, unfortunately in this life, served as uncomplimentary female images. This is why you trust the male qualities in Ruburt; why Richard chose a family in which he married where the males have been dominant, and why Loren chose for a wife a woman with more vitality than he.