“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

This was on his part simply an attempt for spontaneity. The spontaneous self had risen up against what it considered the rigidity of beginning a session at a particular moment. He began then craftily so that sessions began after nine o’clock, and then suggested the earlier hour. Now this is simply a minor and temporary element, originally because he has begun his Thursday classes and is therefore further regulated.

He realizes that a specific time is more practical. He enjoyed last evening’s spontaneous session (for Jane’s Tuesday night ESP class), and such sessions, while they do not particularly add to our material, replenish his creative efforts and give him a sense of freedom. The spontaneity often, though not always, helps to focus his abilities, and provides us with an excellent trance state. The spontaneity provides its own training. You may have noticed that often when you miss a regular session, I have held a spontaneous one in class.

Now Ruburt feels, at times unreasonably, for you have told him differently, that you think he shirks when he misses sessions. The sessions need regularity. They also need spontaneity, and for his own nature, I try to see that both needs are met. This is for the benefit of our sessions and for overall balance and efficiency.

This was largely the basis for your reaction this evening. The psychic work with Ruburt has a strong spontaneous nature, and at times he resents, while he also needs, the regular schedules that you seem to require physically.

You are on the edge of a discovery in your own work, and it makes you uneasy, for you sense it, yet have not grasped it. This also had something to do with this evening’s reaction. Neither of you fully realize as yet the nature of the energies that are working with you, that give you meaning as individuals, hold you together, and form the framework of your daily existence, the balance of spontaneity and regularity.

As you know both the discipline and the spontaneity are necessary. Now I know you. I know you far better than Ruburt knows you. (Smile.) Some things you block out. The personalities behind the people that you paint now run about that room of yours, and you try to put them into your paintings, and to make yourself strong enough to contain their reality, and you feel that Ruburt does not understand this. You do not understand all of it, but you feel the pressure of their reality, that wants to be expressed.

In some respects your work is lonely, and in some respects Ruburt’s work is lonely, but you react to it differently. Ruburt lately has looked for spontaneous release in anonymous social situations—the beer in the crowded bar. Underneath he is highly practical, and realizes that such endeavors, for him in any case, are not pointless nor a waste of time.

He will be reborn as a woman. This much he has decided. He will therefore become more aware of the spontaneous nature of creativity, for he will bear children. Your mother and he, beneath all of their difficulties in this life and in others past, have a deep relationship. They will meet again under different circumstances, but not in the same terms.

The sexes will be reversed and your mother will make a fine husband. Your father has been twice a male, successively. He will adopt the female role, which is more natural to his personality, and be more at ease with creative functions at the spontaneous level. Your mother has been a female now twice in a row, and is ill at ease, and will do much better as a male. The mother-love experience has done much however to balance a too-aggressive nature.