“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I painted as usual until about 8 PM. As I worked however I was aware that Jane was even quieter; this is always a signal to me that something is up. She said she’d felt strange since supper; now she said she felt that we shouldn’t be so subjectively aware, now; but that we should be as our future selves, observing the present scene and our physical bodies as they sat in the living room, from the outside.

(Jane didn’t see or hear anything different, yet felt that the kitchen, living room, and the studio seemed different somehow. As we sat in the living room, which was very clean and neat, and well lit now since darkness was falling, Jane said she felt a sort of pyramid or cone effect, directed at me as I sat across the room from her in the rocker.

(At 9:45 she told me to get the Seth notebook, that we might have a session after all. Her subjective feelings were quite intensified. She felt “intensities” now in various parts of the room—notably by the built-in bookcase at the far end of the room from the windows. She thought Seth’s entity might be looking us over. Various parts of the room seemed to acquire significance in ways she couldn’t explain. Willy, our cat, asleep in a chair near me, wasn’t involved. The intensity traveled; now it was located in the blue wine decanter given to us by our friend Pete from San Diego, California.

(At 10 PM I asked Jane if she could stop the sensations. She said perhaps, then reminded me she had suggested going out earlier—a suggestion I now remembered but hadn’t heeded at the time. Sitting on the couch with her back to the windows, Jane said she felt “scary” about going into a trance now. The feelings were still climbing. She said she’d know when they subsided. She felt “slightly” out of her body to her right as she sat there, but nothing drastic.

(“I don’t see anything...” [Pause.] “I have the impression of something far away; coming closer. Just the word ‘told,’ but I don’t know what it means... I also have the impression that somebody could take me over rather completely, if I’d let them, with some rather emotional stuff; that I’d go through something I don’t particularly want to, full blast.”

(“I don’t know,” Jane said, then suddenly jumped on the couch and threw up her hands, eyes still closed, in the obvious grip of urgent strong emotion: “I don’t know —slam—slam brakes!” Jane cried and yelled out, almost hysterical. I sat beside her, not knowing whether to continue the notes or try to bring her out. My touch on her shoulder helped; her crying subsided but continued as she called to me. I remembered reading that gifted mediums will actually live through experiences; that although obviously under great stress, they are actually safe.

(There was a pause at 10:47. For the first time Jane’s eyes opened. Wide, they stared straight ahead, toward the bookcase. I soon saw that she was not seeing anything in the usual sense; nor did she hear me. Then her eyes closed. “Robby, tell them, whoever they are...they shouldn’t be here. It’s all right...”

(At 11:05 Jane said she was not Evelyn; she remembered calling out for Evelyn. Evelyn was the person “I was so concerned about. She was in the car with me before the accident. I was a woman, but not Evelyn. But I was in the driver’s seat. Whoever sat next to me, or was supposed to, was gone—not there—or hurt or thrown free...”

(Jane now recalled that the car’s right door was open. Wherever the car was, it was off the road and down a bank, with grass and brush or bushes. Jane said she doesn’t know what streets are like in the city [although she was in New York City last year with me]—if the road in the experience was a superhighway in the city, there was still the slope, not level, going down from the road.

(Jane felt that when she opened her eyes wide toward the end of the experience she’d start yelling: “Who are you? What are you doing here?” etc.; this is when she asked me to speak.

(Our living room looked “more normal” to Jane now, by 11:15, as though things were subsiding, but she added that the charge wasn’t gone yet. The name Marguerite just came to her so she told it to me.