“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You sensed energy flowing outward and resented its flow, fearing to lose yourself. Now you are learning to utilize, receive and translate new energy from other layers of the self so that you will not feel depleted. (Pause.)

The personality sensed this lack and at the same time was aware of an impetus. There have been three lives as a woman. There have been two previous to this as a male. Running through these existences has been two main lines.

There has been the inner sense of a void to be filled, a fear of identity escaping and running outward—my cup runneth over, and there will be none of me left, you see. On the other hand it has always been natural for the personality to turn outward in an easy manner, and with exuberance, so that in past lives we find two lives strongly devoted to the nurture of others. But in these cases the personality was filled with an inner dread, and to some extent resented those he helped. If he were out helping others, then who will mind the store? He was afraid his stock would be gone.

A mystification. A sense of perplexed wonder. A member of a monastic group (Jane leaned forward) who classified and collected various kinds of seeds. Now, this group worked on manuscripts officially, so to speak, but our friend here and several others were bootleg seed finders, believing against generally held theories at the time that many questions concerning nature could be found by examining nature.