“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

A great exuberance and a great need. A desire to communicate, and yet a fear of being swept away. (Pause.) An expansiveness that is genuine but a fear, a fear here for the basic integrity of the self, a fear of being swept away, of not being able to hold the self in as if he fears it could bleed outward and leave you.

Much energy is indeed being directed outward. Within however there is a core of self-realization now beginning to gain strength, so that the amount of energy used inwardly will soon begin to match that expended outwardly. Too much was going (Jane gestured for emphasis) and not enough was coming in. You were getting enough from others. You were able to perceive and understand those connections, but you were not receiving needed communications from other layers of your own personality.

You sensed energy flowing outward and resented its flow, fearing to lose yourself. Now you are learning to utilize, receive and translate new energy from other layers of the self so that you will not feel depleted. (Pause.)

There has been the inner sense of a void to be filled, a fear of identity escaping and running outward—my cup runneth over, and there will be none of me left, you see. On the other hand it has always been natural for the personality to turn outward in an easy manner, and with exuberance, so that in past lives we find two lives strongly devoted to the nurture of others. But in these cases the personality was filled with an inner dread, and to some extent resented those he helped. If he were out helping others, then who will mind the store? He was afraid his stock would be gone.