“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(After break, still felt the pyramid bit; so went along and session continued. Then more sensations; or rather, again I felt sensations that were concepts translated into feeling rather than words; but feelings and images. Here I started to feel the microscopic nature of our planet, comparatively speaking; a shrinking a momentary sense of desolation that was my own, I think; there was no attempt to deny integrity or uniqueness of physical life; but only to express... its relative size [poor word] and of the whole physical system. At same time the pyramid seemed inverted, wide at the top, with a giant face peering down into the room, as through a microscope. If the room was going to shrink and all of us with it—as it had grown massive, I just wasn’t ready for the experience. “I” could sense it about to happen. Through all of this, I use the word I, yet these things were happening and “I” was a part of the action so a part, that it was difficult to separate me from it. So now, wanting out, “I” tried to find “myself”—to make body make a motion to signal Rob. Earlier I thought of just yelling out to the personality, look forget it; but couldn’t find vocal chords or something; the personality was using them. So this time “I” found myself, pulled myself together, briefly found voice while personality was silent and just as I was seeing the giant face peer down over me, at pyramid top, at me, and room. Rob brought me out by touching me.

(Very startling to me at the time, the whole thing. If a psychologist wants to say simply: Hallucination, then he would have to admit it was hardly a random thing; but well directed, to a point and for a purpose. The merging of self with action in the expansion episode was dismaying at first; just so alien; because I felt the expansion in general; not just specifically in my own body, for example. All in all I think I reacted well; and brought the thing to an end when I decided enough had been done for one night; so I wasn’t just tossed, say, willy-nilly. But I broke in, before the onrush of sensations the last time; sensing that they were about to occur, so obviously I had learned from the first episode.

(After coming out, kept feeling inclined to go right; as if partially moving out of my body but not nearly that strong or vivid; merely a feeling that I wasn’t entirely inside body but half out to the right in a shadowy rather than substantial fashion. If this would be called hallucinatory by psychologists, then of course far more than vision was involved; the massive quality was definitely sensed directly and vividly. Objects were actually sensed as shapes and forms of volume and weight (?) not sure of weight. Kinetic changes suggest altering of nervous connections, I would suppose. The experience was strangely soundless, and this may have added to frightening quality; didn’t think of this before.