“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

([We checked notes after next break.] When personality compared physical reality with children playing with [physical] blocks, he made a remark about a giant peering through the window at the child’s play; and... I saw or had the feeling of a giant’s face filling up an ordinary window. Hard to recall now; perhaps I was the giant?

(In earlier episode, I’d screamed involuntarily. In second episode I discovered that there were ways of “finding my I” I guess, and ending experience, by motioning Rob to touch me, or shake me, which breaks trance. So perhaps will have more assurance, knowing there is a way out when I want it; experienced no difficulty from personality, or pressure to continue despite my wishes. Don’t believe personality understood experience was unpleasant; or for that matter that such terms had any particular meaning for it. Information or knowledge was being given in certain terms. Period; as far as it was concerned. I don’t even know if it was aware of my reaction! I wiggled out beneath the pyramid. Oh; and earlier, Seth came back through and helped me “down”; but this last time he didn’t and I couldn’t seem to “find him.”

(Very startling to me at the time, the whole thing. If a psychologist wants to say simply: Hallucination, then he would have to admit it was hardly a random thing; but well directed, to a point and for a purpose. The merging of self with action in the expansion episode was dismaying at first; just so alien; because I felt the expansion in general; not just specifically in my own body, for example. All in all I think I reacted well; and brought the thing to an end when I decided enough had been done for one night; so I wasn’t just tossed, say, willy-nilly. But I broke in, before the onrush of sensations the last time; sensing that they were about to occur, so obviously I had learned from the first episode.