“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now I will tell you the material that I have given you will help you and you should listen to it often. It should make one thing clear. Your Mr. Reed is not Mr. Reed’s Mr. Reed. You are not seeing the man as he is. You are seeing the image that you have projected upon him, and no one can live up to that image. I realize that when you discuss him that you say—I know he has failings. This is to assure yourself that, after all, the male is not so all powerful. But you do not see this man’s good points or failings clearly. Some of the qualities that you imagine in him as virtues are not and some of the qualities that you imagine to be failings are not failings. You will never have any relationship with the Dick Reed that you have projected upon a living human being. You may have a relationship with that human being, but there is a world of difference between that human being and the imagined image of him to which you react. And it is that image that you see when you look at him and when think of him. That imagined image is real in your mind, it is reality. But you cannot project that image upon another human being and deny him his own reality. You have no chance in a thousand lives of having a relationship with the man you think of as being Dick Reed, because you cannot have a two-way relationship with an image that is one-sided and has no flesh. Now give us a moment. While we are beginning a job, we may as well do a good one.

We have only dealt with one side of this relationship. Now this Mr. Reed has his own part to play. And his purposes and your purposes to this point have fit together beautifully, for neither of you have seen the other. He has seen his image of you. For his own reasons, he has not allowed himself to know an individual woman. And he does not want to know an individual woman physically—he does not want to. Give us a moment.

One point, you see, this artificial image that you have projected upon others has prevented you from knowing them, and in itself has prevented any legitimate relationship which might otherwise have occurred. As long as you allow this image to cover your eyes, you do not see the individual man and do not react to him for the image is between the two of you. Now you have frightened our young man. On the one hand he resents the image that you have placed upon him, and on the other hand it serves his vanity to accept it. He would much rather have you think of him as this image. He is hiding himself and you have very nicely given him an image to hide behind. You speak to each other in symbols and writing and poetry. You are using the symbols to escape normal human give and take. They are not symbols to aid in communication; they are symbols behind which you hide from communicating.

([Pat:] “I guess that we are using one another. I suppose… that neither one of us sees the other person for what we are. He hides behind the God image that I project upon him … he’s trying to hide, and, of course, that’s a perfect image to hide behind.”

([Pat:] “Yes, I know. And around school he plays the ‘cool guy’ role, the ‘love them and leave them’ image. Not in what he says but in his appearance. This is the image that others project on him and he allows the image to stay. The students accept this as being Dick. Most of the other women or men like to destroy the image or try to prove it wrong, but they do that out of resentment; they see Dick as a threat. Now showing that image and suddenly having Seth come along and say he doesn’t want physical relations with a female; this could be hard to accept. And yet out of all the people, we would be able to accept this and not see anything wrong.”

This attitude of yours places the other individual under very strong psychic pressure. You inflict them with this strong anxiety of yours. They are afraid of saying anything wrong because subconsciously they know that you will exaggerate the slightest movement of the smallest muscle. They become very cautious. Now the information that I have given you this evening should help you to begin to see through this image that until now you have projected upon the males. The information will give you several peepholes through which you may squint and see the individual on the other side of this false image. You can make further inroads through that image. The fact that you have reacted in this manner thus far does not mean that you must continue to do so. In other words you are not fated, you see, to always chase this false image or project it outward. It is not eternal, you have formed it. It has not formed you…

He did voluntarily choose to be born as a son in this existence. Now he rationalizes on a conscious level his reasons for remaining home. You said earlier that around the school there was the expression he “loves them and leaves them”. You see, a very cruel interpretation and a very literal interpretation of his action in a past life, this coming through in an entirely different situation in this life. He is, of course, aware subconsciously of this and acts in such a way for he feels more honest. Through his actions in this life he is trying to make an honest statement about actions in the past. There is, of course, no punishment involved. His secrecy also is a direct result of these past existences, for once he spoke too much and betrayed too much, so now he remains secretive about matters that he considers important. The two brothers never did hold him responsible, however. They understood the situation. They knew that the girl had been terrified and spoke only out of fear and did not mean to betray them. In this life, then, the parents do not mean to hold him. They are not subconsciously trying to chain him; they are not subconsciously trying to bind him. He has chosen to act in this particular manner. He would be much freer if he’d realize that the brothers do not hold him responsible. And the betrayal, while a betrayal, was understandable, and that he spoke out of fear and did not intend to betray. If you will forgive me, I do not think we should use time in the session with your question about your friend’s poetry. It is not important in comparison to other information, nor is it important to the man’s development, nor to your own. Now I know that you speak of me highly; and if I wore a hat, I would tip it to you. You are helping other people and you will continue to do so. Now that you have some insight into the reasons for certain difficulties, you can begin to do something about them. Your problem is not with your Mr. Reed. Your problem is to rid yourself of the image that you have that you project upon him. You will not see him thoroughly until you do so; and in carrying this image with you, you see, you do not see the possibilities in many individuals whom you have already met. For you could not see through this image. When you read or listen to tonight’s session, you will see that I have given you some insight into your own overreactions. Now these cause the variation in your moods. You may ask me questions.

I will not say to you yes or no. No worthwhile relationship can develop while you project this image on him. Nor have you given me your definition of a worthwhile relationship.

Both of you to this point have inner problems that prevent you from entering into marriage. There is a difference between a wholesome love for another person and a compulsive need to have that person. You are still asking these questions with the other image before you. You are trying to peek through, but when you asked the question, you had the image before you. Do you see why? (Pat nods yes.) The very fact that you see this shows that you have learned something this evening. And that does me good, for I would not like to speak so long and so hard without feeling that I had managed to get some small point across. Now I will tell you, Joseph, go out into the air and buy your earthly refreshments and return and perhaps I shall join you for a few social moments.

Now, Ruburt wants me to help him with voice control. You are so used to the image that you have projected outward that you are uncomfortable when you try to face a situation nakedly without the image. You project the image on one specific individual so strongly. You also project it in any of your relationships, as a rule, with men who are older than yourself. You do not want to or had not wanted to face even a transient relationship with a man because you did not then have time, you see, to project this image in any dependable manner. There was also a gap when you would have to face the individual as he was. This made you uncomfortable and defiant because it forced you, however briefly, to meet another individual eye to eye. It goes without saying that you could not see whatever good qualities there were in any man you knew casually. You did not have time to project the image upon him, and you were afraid to see clearly without it. Practice in such relationships would allow you to get used to an environment without this image. If not giant steps, baby steps, each such encounter being a small exercise in seeing another male individual without your image glasses on.