“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The ego is so strong that it clings even to the new materialization. There are two faces of the same problem, you see. As I am sure you know, your father is not unhappy. You never knew your father. The man who was to have been your father left. This does not mean that you were an orphan in that respect, nor did he leave out of cruelty to you. Give me a moment here.

He left you and he left your brothers something you hold in high regard. Lingering within the man you call your father there was always the sense of the unfinished. There was a feeling of the searcher. There was the need from which creativity springs. In some measure this became your impetus. You sensed it intuitively.

(Long pause.) He could not materialize. In a sense he was more your passive mother than your father. He could not communicate. His love of machinery was his attempt, his strongest attempt, to make his being physical. The man you call your father is happier now than he has ever been.

(Long pause.) Your father and two brothers were originally part of the same entity. Your two brothers and Ruth Butts are part of the same entity. Now hear me. This is difficult. (Pause.) The main energy of the man you call your father left long ago, as I told you. He (pause) gathered his energies together and is waiting, but part of his energies were given to the son of Ruth (my first cousin).

This is a voluntary arrangement. The boy needs the additional vitality. I do not believe the boy will live to old age. The father loaned this vitality and helps the boy, knowing beforehand the boy’s difficulty. The boy is unable to relate fully to physical reality. When the man called your father dies his energy will return to the self who is waiting. That self will then call back the energy which it has loaned to Ruth’s son.

You were playing. You were on your mother’s lap, in their bedroom, and he said simply “goodbye”, to you both. And you both knew that he meant it. (Jane sat with her head down.) It had followed a quarrel with your mother. He went out of the house and when he returned he was not the same man. Yet you understood subconsciously, and he left in you that moment the desire to create.

Now all of this pertains to our main discussion, for the implications are plain. He, in the old-man body, enjoys the solitude that he always wanted. Your mother was originally the spark that made him relate at all to physical reality, and that is why he resented her, why he fought her, and why she could not respect him. He enjoys the luxury now of not reacting, in his terms. (Pause.)