“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

First of all, the affair with the woman, Billie, was quite legitimate. I was present, as an overseer, and Ruburt did well. His abilities here will improve as his faith in them improves.

Now. (Pause.) Ruburt has only now begun to take those necessary steps that lead to total commitment. His personality is so constructed that he cannot give time, without conflict, to any matter to which he is not totally committed, or to any matter about which he has any serious doubt.

Finally however he has been led toward a greater acceptance. His doubts have held back the overall quality of our material, since I was not often allowed to come through completely enough.

This was not always the case, but in too many instances my intellect has been held back by the stubbornness of his ego. His own abilities have not therefore grown at the rate which was possible. As you know, some of this conflict has been expressed with beautiful and frightening simplicity through physical symptoms.

These are in the process of vanishing, but the lingering nature has expressed indeed his lingering doubts. Of late he has to some extent freed himself. He has taken definite steps, and made positive gestures that he would not have made in the past.

Now we shall put this plainly, for his ego has indeed distrusted his intuitional self, and has been jealous of it. There has been a spiritual expansion occurring however that is responsible for these recent gains, and the late difficulty in sleeping has been the result of a flare-up, a last struggle, on the part of the ego; a rather weak offensive.

Now. A connection with a young man who played football. Now either there is an Ohio connection with him, or his name began with an O, and was short. Another young woman beside his wife, with a name much like hers, this Mary connection still returning.

1961. An event of which Philip has not told you, that involved him, or could have involved him in a change of important consequence. A disruption, a decision made on his part, that was in the overall beneficial. This may have involved a woman.

The error having to do with the name Philip—the minister at one time in his life was called Phil. The upsetting circumstance mentioned—the decision—representing the basis of conflict that perpetuates many of his physical symptoms. This material was received last evening, and displaced in this evening’s session. It could have been delivered last evening, you see. (Long pause, eyes closed.)

It is unfortunate that the displacement in material occurred. Perhaps Ruburt can check some of this out, with what her student knows of the man’s background. I also believe he has another child from his past. We will now end the session. I believe, in fact, that Ruburt’s student will be able to collaborate some of that material.