“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now. The suggested vacation would have broken up the last of Ruburt’s symptoms more quickly than your present course.

The charge alone you see is not sufficient enough to initiate such symptoms, but it is strong enough to feed a steadily diminishing continuance of them unless changes are made, and you are making them. The vacation would have automatically given you freedom from these daily charged items of environment, allowing the symptoms to break up completely without the added resistance.

As energy and strength grew while you were away, susceptibility to the environment would have largely diminished. This way is somewhat more difficult but will prove effective. Working with the charged environment in this manner can cause various flare-ups, which however disappear immediately as the changes continue.

Your intimate lives, your intimate experiences, suffered. Ruburt, sensing your jealousy, ran away and would not be deeply touched. This was to some extent in retaliation. Also however he had shut down so many spontaneous feelings toward you, because he feared them, that it was difficult to be spontaneous when he wanted to be.

This is a last-ditch escape so to speak, but dangerous because its signs are not obvious. “Well, all right, I will close you out then.” This is the emotional feeling behind it. Such a recourse, again, is only a desperate final one, but with his stubbornness it would be very final, and a means of self-defense.

If he feels this is withdrawn his secure confidence is shattered and his energy dwindles. In his case however there is no danger that you would be emotionally smothered, for he has also this love of work and isolation, and feeling for his and your independence.

Without each other, your possibilities for fulfillment would have been far less. He knew you were less emotionally demonstrative than he, and more or less accepted this, knowing that underneath was a foundation upon which he could rely. It was this foundation he lost faith in, that so frightened him.

In one sense, a limited sense, you could say that he acquiesced, feeling that his symptoms would break through the barrier. But he resented having to be ill in order to reach you. In a way, it was a plea for help, and he resented the need to plead for help.

He cannot love without this unswerving loyalty. It is a part of him. You bring it out, and if you did not do so a very vital part of him would remain unexpressed. The other face of this loyalty is the complete closing out that I mentioned earlier. A partial loyalty of this nature is not a part of his makeup. Do you have questions?

You, incidentally, can use this sense of loyalty, for you did not receive it in the past in this existence. It brings out the best in you and in your work, and represents a rich emotional loam that you need to draw out certain elements of your own personality. On Ruburt’s part it is the main tie with the physical universe. A strong statement. But secure in it, you both are free to reach into other existences. Without it you would not be tied securely enough to this earth. There is an interaction, naturally. The loyalty is there but you bring it out and it serves you both therefore. Without you, literally, Ruburt in this physical life would not be able to express nor free it. Do you have questions?