“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

When Ruburt’s work is done in the bathroom and bedroom there will be another marked improvement, and a new plateau of recovery, from which he will climb still further. He has more energy now you see, though you may not realize it—energy to think of classes, and energy for enthusiasm.

(“He’s not covering up anything else?”

There is nothing to my knowledge of a new nature. He is in need of your emotional support, and active proclamations of love and affection. More than ordinarily, in need of your reassurances emotionally.

You have indeed. Active emotional warmth and its manifestations on your part will now hasten complete recovery immeasurably. Such measures alone can make up for any mistakes you see that might be made. Without them no other correct measures are enough. He does not need, nor want, to smother you emotionally. He fears that you fear this.

He fears that you will feel forced to give him more love than you want to. This is partially a leftover from his realization of your feelings of jealousy, you see. All of this material is very important.

As he becomes reassured again you see he will not require as many proclamations. The rejection he felt however was quite real, and you did feel it—the jealousy—for whatever reason, was felt as valid. Therefore, the necessity for the reassurances.

Your intimate lives, your intimate experiences, suffered. Ruburt, sensing your jealousy, ran away and would not be deeply touched. This was to some extent in retaliation. Also however he had shut down so many spontaneous feelings toward you, because he feared them, that it was difficult to be spontaneous when he wanted to be.

He has ways of escaping that are devious, for they are not obvious, and they are to some extent automatic responses adopted in childhood. He will not hurt you if you hurt him to retaliate, but he will escape, close himself off from further hurt, leaving a shell behind, an animated but empty one.

He literally thought too much of you to do the other.

It demands little in physical terms. However he thrives and literally demands a luxurious sense of inner love, an abundance of warmth and affection. Given this, his energy on your behalf and in your behalf knows no bounds within the potentials of his personality.

If he feels this is withdrawn his secure confidence is shattered and his energy dwindles. In his case however there is no danger that you would be emotionally smothered, for he has also this love of work and isolation, and feeling for his and your independence.

He has been afraid that you felt this way, and has perhaps exaggerated this. But it is a point with you also. This is a result of the connection between emotionalism and your mother. (One minute pause.)

We are working through some material here. Give us a moment. (Pause.) He will give you immeasurable freedom when these requirements are met. I say give you, since these are freedoms an individual could not obtain alone. His literally tremendous energy, given spontaneity through his confidence in you, is to some degree then turned over to you, and can be used in your work.

This is difficult to explain. (Long pause.) You both use energy in different ways. He suddenly began to withdraw his energy in fear, and created what you could think of as an implosive hole that had begun to drain your existences.

This was largely caused by his realization of your jealousy, and his reaction. He must learn to express fearful or negative thought, as they occur, so that they do not build up this charge again. Simply because his energy is so concentrated it resulted, misdirected, in such severe symptoms.

The small pillow he uses beneath his regular bed pillow.

Without each other, your possibilities for fulfillment would have been far less. He knew you were less emotionally demonstrative than he, and more or less accepted this, knowing that underneath was a foundation upon which he could rely. It was this foundation he lost faith in, that so frightened him.

In one sense, a limited sense, you could say that he acquiesced, feeling that his symptoms would break through the barrier. But he resented having to be ill in order to reach you. In a way, it was a plea for help, and he resented the need to plead for help.

There is an intuitive bond between you however, very deep. His poetry to you is good evidence of this. You do inspire him. He senses and reacts to parts of you with which neither of you are consciously familiar. He speaks out your sense of wonder and fantasy, that was squelched when you were a child, but finds release in your work.

He cannot love without this unswerving loyalty. It is a part of him. You bring it out, and if you did not do so a very vital part of him would remain unexpressed. The other face of this loyalty is the complete closing out that I mentioned earlier. A partial loyalty of this nature is not a part of his makeup. Do you have questions?