“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He is willing to compromise by taking various jobs, but here there are other influences also. His grandfather strongly influenced him, and to the grandfather only a man who worked for himself was independent. Only in his last ill year did he work for others. He had his own businesses, but he barely scraped by with them you see.

Now. Friday, his two books came. They had not been paid for as yet, and he had lost some money earlier. On the way to work he found some sweaters he wanted. To some degree he felt guilty, wanting the sweaters when he had already lost money, and when they were obviously meant to replace the sweaters of his mother.

The impetus behind the compulsive activity was fear, and the fear was directed against the mother. The compulsive behavior was also intermixed with religious connotations, the crucifix and rosary being part of the objects used at times. The desire to move furniture at times represents an attempt to break highly ritualized behavior on his part, and is constructive. When it becomes frantic of course it is a sign that the technique is not working.

Now all of this should be taken with other material that I have given you, for all these reasons clicked together at the time. His book was a good one and he was proud of it. But because he felt at this time unworthy, for the reasons given, then he must punish himself for its success, artistically speaking. I can tell you that our work and the stability of our sessions has been of great aid in keeping the symptoms under some control. Had this happened before our sessions the difficulty would literally have been most severe, with other bad physical symptoms.

Some extra care as you plan then will also serve to liven the spirits of the spontaneous self. Ruburt’s particular personality can also find refreshment at his job; as the earlier, still somewhat lingering but largely vanishing sensitivity vanishes, it can be a source of refreshment. It is less symbolic in a negative manner, you see, than it was. While he insisted upon this rigorous discipline for himself, he was caught between trying to inflict it upon the children, and by his natural tendency to enter into their spontaneous ways. This largely contributing to the difficulties after work, as a result of the tension.