“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

It would be of help along these lines for Ruburt to scrub his rug, as for him rugs have a certain significance in this respect, and particularly air the bedding. As long as you understand the reason behind these actions, you see, you will not overestimate them.

If possible next weekend, air your clothing upon the line. Ruburt should brush his animals; all of this for its symbolic meaning, but symbolism reinforced on the sense data level.

The ideas initiated this evening are good ones. Dinners out, and so forth. In fact, they are excellent. Both of you lean toward self-denial, sometimes too acutely. Ruburt will react against this more often than you, being born under his particular birthmark.

If a portion of you feels it does not get treats, you see, it imagines that the whole personality does not consider it worthy of any consideration. You feel this also Joseph, though you are not as aware of it. Ruburt usually pays it no mind, believing it in the past a part of discipline to ignore the innate independent childlike desire for treats or special attention.

The plan evolved as to dinners and outings was only adopted by Ruburt as an emergency measure, but in your particular circumstances a modified version of this plan would serve as a steady and constant safety measure. If certain portions, dominating portions, of both of your personalities are willing to go without, for the sake of what you want, other portions do feel that they are being disregarded, without even token recognition.

A grudging indulgence is perhaps worse than none however. At this time the plan is excellent, to offset the tight discipline that Ruburt attempted to force upon all other elements of the personality. He has been depriving it physically, in a misguided attempt to force it into the ego’s idea of spirituality.

He was offered a ride home and cashed his check. This deprived him of an opportunity to change his mind and buy the sweaters then. He also felt guilty because of your neck difficulties. He was angry at the route the driver took, and not able to say so. The story told by the driver upset early sexual feelings, and all of this together caused his difficulties. Later that evening the torture discussion, you see—this frightened him because his withheld anger and aggression found the talk most satisfying, and Ruburt then and there fought desperately to deny this. The symptoms begun earlier in the afternoon, then intensified.

Now. In Ruburt’s past compulsive behavior was established at a rather early age, the ritualized activity serving as a substitute security framework.

Any spontaneity became suspect however, except artistic spontaneity. For various reasons, not necessary in this discussion, the tendency was carried over with Ruburt’s first husband. At the same time through adolescence the quality of the ego had not sufficiently shown its true character as yet. The spontaneity did erupt in constant nervous behavior, and erratic behavior. He was constantly told to slow down, to use discipline, and this reinforced the fear that what he was, was fearful, powerful, evil, and best hidden.

Your stiff neck, my friend—you felt responsible to some extent for Ruburt’s habits of ultradiscipline. They were obviously breaking down in any case, no longer serving their purpose you see, and you did not realize that they were being fueled by early compulsive behavior.

I would suggest that you both in summertime indulge in physical activity in the yard—quick activity of a game variety. The fact that Ruburt begins to remember his dreams shows that the inner self is being allowed more freedom, and it responds to physical touch, pampering, denial, as the case may be.

Some extra care as you plan then will also serve to liven the spirits of the spontaneous self. Ruburt’s particular personality can also find refreshment at his job; as the earlier, still somewhat lingering but largely vanishing sensitivity vanishes, it can be a source of refreshment. It is less symbolic in a negative manner, you see, than it was. While he insisted upon this rigorous discipline for himself, he was caught between trying to inflict it upon the children, and by his natural tendency to enter into their spontaneous ways. This largely contributing to the difficulties after work, as a result of the tension.

Ruburt correctly interpreted the evening symptoms that sometimes occur. There is some identification with the mother here, based on highly falsified data; if he becomes the mother, then the mother cannot hurt him. And in all such identifications, there is the feeling that by becoming that which one fears, there is safety. This is obviously wrong and dangerous.

Ruburt’s mother is part of an entity, and he should remember this. He does not have arthritis, although he has been mimicking the symptoms, and could in time hypnotize himself into believing he did have the disease, though this is highly improbable given his own constitution. The spontaneous self happens to be basically more powerful and far more sensible than the ego, and would never stand for this development. It would doubtless cause some sort of an explosion however, in order to prevent any such occurrence.

Yes, Ruburt should make an effort, some at least, to go out in the morning, if it only be down the stairs and around the yard. Now he is at the point where mental activity will also quicken the spontaneous self. Before, this was not even workable.