“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

It would be of help along these lines for Ruburt to scrub his rug, as for him rugs have a certain significance in this respect, and particularly air the bedding. As long as you understand the reason behind these actions, you see, you will not overestimate them.

The reasons for this misguided activity have been given to some extent. He became determined not to pamper himself, but he never did pamper himself to any great extent. He would not buy clothes that you could afford, but wore others given to him by others, as if he did not feel he deserved his own.

You can understand then some of the conflict here. That is one of the reasons that he seeks what you call offbeat positions, but he has made progress in this line, and should continue to do so. At one time only a freelance selling position, you see, would have been an acceptable compromise.

Any spontaneity became suspect however, except artistic spontaneity. For various reasons, not necessary in this discussion, the tendency was carried over with Ruburt’s first husband. At the same time through adolescence the quality of the ego had not sufficiently shown its true character as yet. The spontaneity did erupt in constant nervous behavior, and erratic behavior. He was constantly told to slow down, to use discipline, and this reinforced the fear that what he was, was fearful, powerful, evil, and best hidden.

Now all of this should be taken with other material that I have given you, for all these reasons clicked together at the time. His book was a good one and he was proud of it. But because he felt at this time unworthy, for the reasons given, then he must punish himself for its success, artistically speaking. I can tell you that our work and the stability of our sessions has been of great aid in keeping the symptoms under some control. Had this happened before our sessions the difficulty would literally have been most severe, with other bad physical symptoms.