“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now. We will begin with some relatively superficial but beneficial comments, and then continue along more deep lines.

Now you can afford the token recognition. You cannot afford to deny them token recognition. They are not by any means overdemanding elements in either of your personalities. Your weekend encounters have been an improvement here. The spirit behind the indulgence is important.

He did not feed it properly. He denied it full satisfaction in your personal relationship. He tried to make it thin enough to disappear. He tried to douse his normally vital animal spirits, and now the body and the animal spirits do need some such extra attention.

Now. Friday, his two books came. They had not been paid for as yet, and he had lost some money earlier. On the way to work he found some sweaters he wanted. To some degree he felt guilty, wanting the sweaters when he had already lost money, and when they were obviously meant to replace the sweaters of his mother.

Now. In Ruburt’s past compulsive behavior was established at a rather early age, the ritualized activity serving as a substitute security framework.

Now, he tried to block off subconscious feelings concerning his mother because he could not afford, he felt, to react to them, and there was little avenue for expression of his aggressive feelings toward her. She knew this and mocked him, daring him to kill her physically.

The spontaneous self when it did escape, you see, managed to do so only under circumstances where the explosive impulses shattered their way through. In the years between there was some considerable improvement in balance. When the situations developed which we have discussed, setting off the old conflicts, again you see, then the discipline idea was short-circuited back to the old compulsive behavior, though in different form, and with the old religious connotation of self-denial. The old fear of spontaneity returned, and the methodical attempt to deny subconscious impulses; the old feeling of unworthiness was also activated, and the body duly denied. Now this self-denial began in the Catholic home, and he was peculiarly prone to accept it. It was part of the old Catholic training, and he fell for it under a new guise. (Jane spent over a year in such a home while her mother was hospitalized for arthritis.)

Now all of this should be taken with other material that I have given you, for all these reasons clicked together at the time. His book was a good one and he was proud of it. But because he felt at this time unworthy, for the reasons given, then he must punish himself for its success, artistically speaking. I can tell you that our work and the stability of our sessions has been of great aid in keeping the symptoms under some control. Had this happened before our sessions the difficulty would literally have been most severe, with other bad physical symptoms.

Now occasionally the ego has risen up in our sessions, but to no alarming degree. On the few occasions when the symptoms were mentioned and a particular time given, this was a rather pathetic attempt on the part of the ego to make use of the sessions.

The pendulum sessions have been of value. The listing of the symptoms is not a good idea now however. An outgoing atmosphere, oddly enough, will now allow the spontaneous inner self freer expression spontaneously, you see; the yoga, I am afraid, did represent a severe distortion, and yet a particularly tricky one, for generally speaking the exercise is excellent; and in the beginning when I recommended it, it was helpful in slowly coaxing out the inner self.

Now you are making progress. For now, activity will be good. Physical activity, the normal aggressive activity of social endeavor, the creative activity involved in writing, and the housecleaning procedures mentioned. The poetry is exceedingly important.

The explosion would most likely take the part of explosive behavior. This will not be necessary now however. You should make definite plans for a vacation, and discuss them so that the idea is a reality in the present. Enjoy some creature comforts, whatever these mean to you.

Yes, Ruburt should make an effort, some at least, to go out in the morning, if it only be down the stairs and around the yard. Now he is at the point where mental activity will also quicken the spontaneous self. Before, this was not even workable.

The physical exercises now will be most beneficial. No very heavy moving for example, but a resumption, steadily, of normal behavior.

The going up is reassuring, you see. Now he may if he prefers, and this is not original with me, imagine a circle of psychic safety about him, through which only constructive suggestions and influences can pass.