“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Some environmental influences of a real but not profound nature can be cleared up by the simple process of the housecleaning ritual. Disinfectants and the symbolic chase after germs—these simply serve as a symbolic but helpful aid in ridding the atmosphere of the idea of illness.

The ideas initiated this evening are good ones. Dinners out, and so forth. In fact, they are excellent. Both of you lean toward self-denial, sometimes too acutely. Ruburt will react against this more often than you, being born under his particular birthmark.

A grudging indulgence is perhaps worse than none however. At this time the plan is excellent, to offset the tight discipline that Ruburt attempted to force upon all other elements of the personality. He has been depriving it physically, in a misguided attempt to force it into the ego’s idea of spirituality.

The spontaneous self when it did escape, you see, managed to do so only under circumstances where the explosive impulses shattered their way through. In the years between there was some considerable improvement in balance. When the situations developed which we have discussed, setting off the old conflicts, again you see, then the discipline idea was short-circuited back to the old compulsive behavior, though in different form, and with the old religious connotation of self-denial. The old fear of spontaneity returned, and the methodical attempt to deny subconscious impulses; the old feeling of unworthiness was also activated, and the body duly denied. Now this self-denial began in the Catholic home, and he was peculiarly prone to accept it. It was part of the old Catholic training, and he fell for it under a new guise. (Jane spent over a year in such a home while her mother was hospitalized for arthritis.)

The pendulum sessions have been of value. The listing of the symptoms is not a good idea now however. An outgoing atmosphere, oddly enough, will now allow the spontaneous inner self freer expression spontaneously, you see; the yoga, I am afraid, did represent a severe distortion, and yet a particularly tricky one, for generally speaking the exercise is excellent; and in the beginning when I recommended it, it was helpful in slowly coaxing out the inner self.

The explosion would most likely take the part of explosive behavior. This will not be necessary now however. You should make definite plans for a vacation, and discuss them so that the idea is a reality in the present. Enjoy some creature comforts, whatever these mean to you.