“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

A grudging indulgence is perhaps worse than none however. At this time the plan is excellent, to offset the tight discipline that Ruburt attempted to force upon all other elements of the personality. He has been depriving it physically, in a misguided attempt to force it into the ego’s idea of spirituality.

The urge between the child’s desire to do so, the basically kind nature, and the inability to carry out any such actions in any case, led to an overguarding ego. The ego did not appear rigid, for the inner seethings made it impossible, and spontaneity constantly erupted, but in ways the whole personality felt were the least dangerous.

Any spontaneity became suspect however, except artistic spontaneity. For various reasons, not necessary in this discussion, the tendency was carried over with Ruburt’s first husband. At the same time through adolescence the quality of the ego had not sufficiently shown its true character as yet. The spontaneity did erupt in constant nervous behavior, and erratic behavior. He was constantly told to slow down, to use discipline, and this reinforced the fear that what he was, was fearful, powerful, evil, and best hidden.

Now occasionally the ego has risen up in our sessions, but to no alarming degree. On the few occasions when the symptoms were mentioned and a particular time given, this was a rather pathetic attempt on the part of the ego to make use of the sessions.

Ruburt’s mother is part of an entity, and he should remember this. He does not have arthritis, although he has been mimicking the symptoms, and could in time hypnotize himself into believing he did have the disease, though this is highly improbable given his own constitution. The spontaneous self happens to be basically more powerful and far more sensible than the ego, and would never stand for this development. It would doubtless cause some sort of an explosion however, in order to prevent any such occurrence.

There is no deeply symbolic meaning here, the stairs having simply become a transitional point between the outside and the inside. Although going down is somewhat significant, representing to the ego the fear of going down into the self.

(“Just one, and that is this: Will the ego ever accept these sessions?”)

The ego has to a large extent accepted them already, as is shown by the results of our test data, for which the ego’s cooperation is necessary.