“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The plan evolved as to dinners and outings was only adopted by Ruburt as an emergency measure, but in your particular circumstances a modified version of this plan would serve as a steady and constant safety measure. If certain portions, dominating portions, of both of your personalities are willing to go without, for the sake of what you want, other portions do feel that they are being disregarded, without even token recognition.

(9:38. Jane had spoken actively, sitting down, her eyes very dark. She had smoked constantly. Resume at 9:50.)

The urge between the child’s desire to do so, the basically kind nature, and the inability to carry out any such actions in any case, led to an overguarding ego. The ego did not appear rigid, for the inner seethings made it impossible, and spontaneity constantly erupted, but in ways the whole personality felt were the least dangerous.

Any spontaneity became suspect however, except artistic spontaneity. For various reasons, not necessary in this discussion, the tendency was carried over with Ruburt’s first husband. At the same time through adolescence the quality of the ego had not sufficiently shown its true character as yet. The spontaneity did erupt in constant nervous behavior, and erratic behavior. He was constantly told to slow down, to use discipline, and this reinforced the fear that what he was, was fearful, powerful, evil, and best hidden.