“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now. We will begin with some relatively superficial but beneficial comments, and then continue along more deep lines.

Some environmental influences of a real but not profound nature can be cleared up by the simple process of the housecleaning ritual. Disinfectants and the symbolic chase after germs—these simply serve as a symbolic but helpful aid in ridding the atmosphere of the idea of illness.

If possible next weekend, air your clothing upon the line. Ruburt should brush his animals; all of this for its symbolic meaning, but symbolism reinforced on the sense data level.

The plan evolved as to dinners and outings was only adopted by Ruburt as an emergency measure, but in your particular circumstances a modified version of this plan would serve as a steady and constant safety measure. If certain portions, dominating portions, of both of your personalities are willing to go without, for the sake of what you want, other portions do feel that they are being disregarded, without even token recognition.

The reasons for this misguided activity have been given to some extent. He became determined not to pamper himself, but he never did pamper himself to any great extent. He would not buy clothes that you could afford, but wore others given to him by others, as if he did not feel he deserved his own.

He is willing to compromise by taking various jobs, but here there are other influences also. His grandfather strongly influenced him, and to the grandfather only a man who worked for himself was independent. Only in his last ill year did he work for others. He had his own businesses, but he barely scraped by with them you see.

You can understand then some of the conflict here. That is one of the reasons that he seeks what you call offbeat positions, but he has made progress in this line, and should continue to do so. At one time only a freelance selling position, you see, would have been an acceptable compromise.

The compulsive behavior gave him a safe circle in which to operate, but it was a small circle. It was meant to keep harmful influences out, but it was also meant to keep harmful influences in.

The urge between the child’s desire to do so, the basically kind nature, and the inability to carry out any such actions in any case, led to an overguarding ego. The ego did not appear rigid, for the inner seethings made it impossible, and spontaneity constantly erupted, but in ways the whole personality felt were the least dangerous.

Now all of this should be taken with other material that I have given you, for all these reasons clicked together at the time. His book was a good one and he was proud of it. But because he felt at this time unworthy, for the reasons given, then he must punish himself for its success, artistically speaking. I can tell you that our work and the stability of our sessions has been of great aid in keeping the symptoms under some control. Had this happened before our sessions the difficulty would literally have been most severe, with other bad physical symptoms.

Now occasionally the ego has risen up in our sessions, but to no alarming degree. On the few occasions when the symptoms were mentioned and a particular time given, this was a rather pathetic attempt on the part of the ego to make use of the sessions.

Some extra care as you plan then will also serve to liven the spirits of the spontaneous self. Ruburt’s particular personality can also find refreshment at his job; as the earlier, still somewhat lingering but largely vanishing sensitivity vanishes, it can be a source of refreshment. It is less symbolic in a negative manner, you see, than it was. While he insisted upon this rigorous discipline for himself, he was caught between trying to inflict it upon the children, and by his natural tendency to enter into their spontaneous ways. This largely contributing to the difficulties after work, as a result of the tension.

The physical exercises now will be most beneficial. No very heavy moving for example, but a resumption, steadily, of normal behavior.