“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

If possible next weekend, air your clothing upon the line. Ruburt should brush his animals; all of this for its symbolic meaning, but symbolism reinforced on the sense data level.

A grudging indulgence is perhaps worse than none however. At this time the plan is excellent, to offset the tight discipline that Ruburt attempted to force upon all other elements of the personality. He has been depriving it physically, in a misguided attempt to force it into the ego’s idea of spirituality.

He was offered a ride home and cashed his check. This deprived him of an opportunity to change his mind and buy the sweaters then. He also felt guilty because of your neck difficulties. He was angry at the route the driver took, and not able to say so. The story told by the driver upset early sexual feelings, and all of this together caused his difficulties. Later that evening the torture discussion, you see—this frightened him because his withheld anger and aggression found the talk most satisfying, and Ruburt then and there fought desperately to deny this. The symptoms begun earlier in the afternoon, then intensified.

He often projected these onto his mother, so that she became the symbol of all evil, at various times in any case. This regardless of the harmful qualities of her own nature, the mother’s.

Now all of this should be taken with other material that I have given you, for all these reasons clicked together at the time. His book was a good one and he was proud of it. But because he felt at this time unworthy, for the reasons given, then he must punish himself for its success, artistically speaking. I can tell you that our work and the stability of our sessions has been of great aid in keeping the symptoms under some control. Had this happened before our sessions the difficulty would literally have been most severe, with other bad physical symptoms.

Ruburt correctly interpreted the evening symptoms that sometimes occur. There is some identification with the mother here, based on highly falsified data; if he becomes the mother, then the mother cannot hurt him. And in all such identifications, there is the feeling that by becoming that which one fears, there is safety. This is obviously wrong and dangerous.