“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Give us a moment here. (Pause.) To some extent the symptoms did represent caution. He did not want to move until he was sure of his direction once more. It was the stubborn ego in this case that prevented him from seeing clearly the direction which had been given by other portions of the self.

The knees, incidentally, I can help him here: in Saint Vincent’s punishment took the form of having the child kneel straight upward, and doing so Ruburt’s knees often became sore. The knee symptoms were a later development in this present series of symptoms, his way of punishing himself for his previous lack of understanding. This knowledge should greatly relieve the symptoms.

Previous ego patterns can still operate under various circumstances. Ruburt was often a male, and he sometimes attempts to manhandle the feminine aspects of his present personality, to inflict upon it literally qualities that go against its grain. Force, logic over intuition, for example, or intellect over psychic awareness. The psychic abilities in his case are, among other things, aided by that balance of characteristics, and these should not be tampered with.

You see, for years Ruburt hid himself from his mother, and as stated earlier he felt that in giving her his book he had opened himself to her. For years he would not wear anything that had been close to her. Then he shoved this feeling away and would not face it.

Egotistically he forced other aspects of his personality to accept what they feared. In times of high vitality the effects were minor. After the book’s publication however the effects multiplied. A message to this effect was given him in a dream, and he ignored it.

You see however he felt that he was learning maturity by ignoring the subconscious. This is at the base of these problems. He mistrusted the most reliable portion of his present personality. He automatically rejected the sweaters as giving warmth on a subconscious basis.

Even then, however, the subconscious would not be forced too far, and a good deal of the time the sweaters sat in his drawer. They were not his style, they were his mother’s style and in wearing them he felt further alarm that he was being cast in her world, so to speak.

Only the last one was simple. His letters of thanks protested too much. He wore the sweater night and day in a frenzied attempt to prove that it I had no harmful effects upon him. From the subconscious standpoint this was simply too much.

At various times when working he went without a bra because his shoulders bothered him, and he wore one of his mother’s sweaters. Now his mother never wore a bra, you see. The thin shoulders he imagines he has are a part of mother identification.

(“Connection with an old car.” Jane feels this refers to a young man, Tom, who works at the Art Shop where I bought the canvas which furnished the object. Jane often runs errands there for me, and Tom, a framemaker, often waits on her. Tom has an old sports car, and not long after I had bought the canvas, he described the car to Jane on one of her visits there, detailing his troubles with it, etc.

(“A view of water.” Another reference to the Art Shop, and through this the object. In Elmira the Art Shop is located on West Water Street, which parallels the Chemung River through the heart of the city. The river can be seen from the back door of the Art Shop, and from the second-story workroom above where Tom makes his frames, etc. It was in this large upstairs room that Tom described his car troubles to Jane.

(“A gasoline connection.” Possibly another reference to Tom’s story about his car. Cars and Tom are rather closely connected. Since his first tale to Jane we have heard subsequent stories about his car, the most recent being how he stripped several gears.

(“A mischief.” We don’t know; possibly a reference to the episode in which Tom recently stripped the gears of his car, as mentioned. Quite a story is connected here.

(Question: The only one would be to name the object as best you can. “Rectangular, having it seems some connection with metal or an automobile. Some dates and numbers, like an application.” Again, apparently a reference to Tom and his car; and through this to the Art Shop, the linen canvas, etc.

(“and connection with an erratic behavior. Perhaps with a key also.” These may refer, again, to Tom’s episode with his car, when he stripped gears, etc. We cannot be sure without Seth’s help, but this data does fit the events of that evening as described to us by Tom himself and others.