“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Then, the strong conflict between the ego and subconscious was the result of home environment. He allowed himself no spontaneous expression at home with his mother. This denied, his normal spontaneity exploded when it was allowed opportunity, sometimes in unfortunate circumstances. In panic, the ego then tripled its defenses. He was not capable of loving Zeh or anyone, later. They both knew this and counted upon it. With Zeh, again, Ruburt denied the spontaneous self in normal daily interaction with him; with Zeh. And this denied spontaneous self exploded when and where it could.

Usually this occurred when alcohol relaxed the ego, and the results would then make the ego tighten its control. When Ruburt becomes leery or afraid to allow himself the normal amount of social drinking, this is a symptom, telling you that the subconscious is being too tightly held. The ego fears any weakening, for it feels the pressure of the subconscious demand for expression. You may now take your break. I will try to finish this, this evening, for it will be invaluable.