“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(When Bill and Peg Gallagher arrived, about nine, I drank two cups of strong coffee, rather than the wine that everyone else drank; so it must have been 10:30 or so before I had a glass of wine. Conversation was led by Barb, again, to her own life and so forth. The evening wore on. Somewhere in here I felt that I could have a Seth session regarding Barb. I said this softly to Rob and once to Peg; who knows about the sessions, of course. Barb knows hardly anything, though I think she knows about Seth in a general way. Rob shook his head and I didn’t particularly want to get involved anyway so I said no mentally. After a short while I no longer felt that Seth was around. A poor move. Barb heard me. Bill, it turns out, did not.

(I had no idea, consciously, that I could go into such a deep trance or for that matter, give such precise information. Certainly the drinks must have lowered my defenses, though I wasn’t tight. Certainly cold sober though I would not have allowed myself to behave in this manner. The experience is a valuable one though. I was quite frightened all in all. At the same time somewhat surprised; didn’t realize my abilities were that good or that I could get such specific data. Wouldn’t go through that very damn often though; data or no data. The question arises: Would such experiences bring their own discipline and protection? Was it so vivid and frightening because it was my first experience? Or because in such circumstances the emotions will always be picked up so vividly? Certainly if the Seth sessions had involved this sort of thing—particularly in the beginning—I am pretty sure we wouldn’t have continued them. At least I don’t believe we would have.

(The whole thing was highly distasteful to Rob I believe; he dislikes emotional displays to begin with. After it was over it was highly distasteful to me. At the time “I” wasn’t aware of anything much on my own in the usual manner. Just this barrage of impressions. But I am not aware and wasn’t of the way in which the impressions came; not one image that I recall. Just the words. They were mine definitely. No control personality for example of any kind. But where I got the words; or what inner translations happened before I spoke them, I don’t know. I wasn’t aware of the original perceptions, in other words. There was no hesitancy and little groping around . Giving test data in the sessions, there are translations that I make and I am careful, trying to interpret what I get; here, the interpretations were already made; at a subconscious level? Presumably.

(Besides I don’t want people coming here looking for that sort of thing certainly. Now I’m sort of sorry that people will know about the Seth sessions; know what we’re doing twice a week; and of course this is partially my fault. It is hard to get a balanced attitude, which is what is needed—and we usually do achieve one, incidentally. Wanted to write down what I am thinking about this as I may want to write about the incident in the future.