“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Then—to me suddenly—in my own voice and without Seth, I began to give impressions about Barb’s past life. Saw no images at all, and had no idea whether anything made sense to her or was just subconscious fabrication on my part. No hesitancy either, though. The words just came. Very little memory of what I said but when I stopped Barb checked several points out as very good. I mentioned Greenwich, Connecticut; I didn’t even know there was a Greenwich, in Connecticut, though I am familiar with Greenwich, NY, and it seems to me I thought there was one in Vermont. Anyway Barb said she lived there some years back. Also mentioned particular initials—now I forget them—Peg took notes and will have them—and these were excellent, referring specifically to Barb’s boyfriend, Dick. The first initial was “G”, however. She told us his first name was really George; of course we were surprised, and had no idea of this. Something about a second child, a male, also hit her; and another point that I forget. There may be others, we haven’t checked the notes yet.

(So we talked about this for a few minutes. Then suddenly I was in a very deep trance of which I have no memory—except at the very end, when I was yelling my lungs out, and I believe, flat on the floor crying. What I said I don’t know now, though apparently at the end I was reliving some suicide attempt of Barb’s? Or an operation? Wouldn’t know; it was supposed to be afternoon I do recall that.

(At the last I was frightened enough to yell for help when I got the chance; and Rob came to my assistance. Perhaps—most certainly in fact—the thing would just have ended itself but the emotional situation could have gotten worse first; if I was reliving an emotional state I could have gone through the whole thing, granted there was more to it. [Just now, writing this, when I was on the floor sobbing, I did feel that I was on a bed, crying.]

(Besides I don’t want people coming here looking for that sort of thing certainly. Now I’m sort of sorry that people will know about the Seth sessions; know what we’re doing twice a week; and of course this is partially my fault. It is hard to get a balanced attitude, which is what is needed—and we usually do achieve one, incidentally. Wanted to write down what I am thinking about this as I may want to write about the incident in the future.

(Daily life must be maintained at a fairly balanced level however, regardless. If such episodes are upsetting then they are not to be encouraged. Does this mean that I should definitely see to it that such a situation never happens again? Or is that too rigid? I do know that an attitude of permissiveness, generally speaking, is definitely out. It does not seem necessary to refuse to discuss ESP under any conditions with anyone—little ESP was discussed the other evening though Barb asked me to hypnotize her several times and I refused. I think that night it was the charged emotional climate; Barb’s; and that perhaps it is simply certain individuals that I must protect myself against: I will not for example discuss ESP with Barb now. This might be it: the psychotic individual—and I knew that she was at least highly neurotic—may project so strongly that I pick up too much before I apply guards.