“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(The trance was the deepest I have been in. Again I saw nothing; no images; but I was oddly unprotected; the emotional state was not a bit pleasant as I was screaming over this episode, apparently a past one of Barb’s. With Seth, for example, I feel nothing. I yelled out for Rob. He tried to help me break the trance, which was rather difficult. “I” was taken over by the emotional mood so that it was difficult to snap back. I kept going back in for awhile. Finally Bill and Peg took Rob and me for a ride in the cold night air, to snap me out of it.

(The whole thing was highly distasteful to Rob I believe; he dislikes emotional displays to begin with. After it was over it was highly distasteful to me. At the time “I” wasn’t aware of anything much on my own in the usual manner. Just this barrage of impressions. But I am not aware and wasn’t of the way in which the impressions came; not one image that I recall. Just the words. They were mine definitely. No control personality for example of any kind. But where I got the words; or what inner translations happened before I spoke them, I don’t know. I wasn’t aware of the original perceptions, in other words. There was no hesitancy and little groping around . Giving test data in the sessions, there are translations that I make and I am careful, trying to interpret what I get; here, the interpretations were already made; at a subconscious level? Presumably.

(I thought that when I said no to Seth, that was all that was required, as nothing like this has happened before. Rob insists that I must have subconsciously given consent, though, and of course he must be correct though I am certainly not conscious of any moment where I did so. Obviously I will have to protect myself and set up further barriers as this sort of thing could not be allowed to take over whenever the circumstances were favorable.

(Another point: Barb must be highly neurotic, attempting suicide by her own count, four times. She was sort of flirting with Rob earlier; told us to her he represented the ideal man type and emphasized his “sternness.” I wasn’t angry with her or anything at all, but somewhat embarrassed for her in front of Gallaghers; but I wasn’t particularly amused either. I even wondered later if this had something to do with what happened; though not sure of the connection. Pretty far-out but perhaps in some way it added to the whole thing.