“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The child even then realized that violence and aggression was somehow connected with his mother’s illness. He also, that is Ruburt also, felt the violence that is a part of his father’s personality. Suddenly the tantrums ceased. He held them back in pure terror of the consequences, for suddenly the violent-tempered mother was immobile. He feared the same fate. The father had completely disappeared. To the child the father simply vanished from the face of the earth, an equally fearful fate.

You grew up in an environment, my dear friend, in which violence and aggressiveness became one, were expressed in some degree by both parents. But this expression was denied to the children, and you longed to retaliate. Your father’s aggressiveness, normal male aggressiveness, was blocked up, and directed against your mother. You longed to express your natural violence, you normal aggressiveness, and you also feared to do so, and dwelled mainly in your own world.

You are also angry at Ruburt’s docility because it reminds you of your father’s lack of aggression in his business dealings. When all this is out in the open as it is now, you will find that both of you can deal much more effectively with the outside business world, and you will not be hampered as you both have been.

The garden work is a help. It would be for you, had you the time. There are unfortunate connections with your father however, that might at first mitigate against your enjoyment, though old experience with the land would soon come back to you.