“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Then Bill went ahead, his body curled up into a ball, much like a fetal position. I saw him coast over the edge of the fall. I followed, holding my breath, and felt no shock or fear especially. It was very pleasant. I went deep down into the water at the base of the falls. I let myself float along, knowing that if I held my breath I would rise to the surface. At the same time I somehow knew there was a large underground rock ahead in the stream. It was like a pillar or barrier, dark and rough, reaching up high toward the surface. Still under water, I opened my eyes in plenty of time to see it ahead, and avoided hurting myself against its rough surface.

(I believe that my own feeling was one of sadness that I wouldn’t be with her, more than anything else in the dream. Part of the time I was also outside of this brick room. I also believe that I had received the injection, and that it was supposed to take effect hours ago, but hadn’t done so. So here I was hours later, wandering around. I thought of Jane but did not see her, and still felt this sadness and concern much more than any fear. I believe the dream ended on this note. At no time in the dream did I actually see my father; I merely knew he was there, and involved.

Now you are afraid in the next dream that you both are in over your heads, so you see yourself and your brother in the water. He is still ahead of you, for he is now up to his neck in debt. You are not but you fear that your family situation, your parent situation, could put you in a like condition.

The second dream projected the fears of the first, anticipating what you were afraid would happen in the future.

To some extent also the water symbol of the previous dream represented your mother’s womb, and was a connection to the penis symbol of the next dream. Now. The execution, which you feared, was a symbol for the death of many hopes, both financial hopes and artistic ones. For you would have to get further work, you feared, to help your parents. And to you this would represent a type of execution.

In the earlier dreams you were certain of your capacity to survive the situation which you feared. In this dream you faced the possibility that you would not survive so easily. Ruburt is in this episode because now you worry about the effect of your own reaction upon his condition in general.

The dreams very clearly show your fear and concern. There is also some element of distorted clairvoyance, in that your father’s death—when it does occur, and it is not imminent—will finally be a painless one.

You are ashamed to admit that to some extent you resent the payments that you both make, and this is the main reason why these fears were not recognized sufficiently by the ego, but forced into the subconscious where they made themselves known in this manner.