“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(See pages 131, for Friday, July 9,1965, and 177 and above for Friday, August 6, for the two latest examples of my experience of physical enlargement. I mentioned them to Jane just before the session tonight in hopes that Seth would mention them.

(The session was a quiet one and was held in our small back room. Jane spoke while sitting down, with her eyes closed and in a rather rapid manner, throughout the session. Occasionally she used pauses. Her voice was quiet to begin with, but where indicated it began to deepen. It did not acquire much more volume. This manifestation reminded me somewhat of the deeper voice effect Jane showed in the 172nd session. In that session Seth stated that it would become natural and easy for Jane to speak in that manner.)

When we have a suitable period of time it would be most beneficial for us to discuss the various members of your present family, Joseph, in connection with their past experiences.

The [retarded] son represented the result of two main conditions. The woman could simply not bring herself to form a complete construction. Her energies were not directed in a manner that would permit her to give birth to a normal child. She deeply reacted against violence, and was overly sensitive.

She felt that it was her responsibility to have a child, and so she did. At the same time, because of the child’s defect, she managed to produce a child who was relatively free of those pressures against which she reacted. She produced in other words an idiot, who was in his own way supremely invulnerable to the realization of misfortune, a child who would not grow mentally into an adult, and a child who would remain secure in a relatively eternal childhood.

Nor did she feel guilty. Basically she considered that she had indeed produced a human being who would remain in a sort of summer garden, secure from deep hurts and vain regret.

The child was extremely gentle in his way, and in his way he is still a gentle child. We are speaking honestly here, and so I will say that she would herself have preferred to dwell in such a dreamlike state herself. She was never a part of her century or her time, and she tried to protect her offspring according to her own limits, by seeing to it that his escape would be a more definite one than her own.

She would not admit the fear, but would change the fear to pride, saying to herself that the world was evil, and she would therefore have little to do with it. And so she did not. She was not a foolish woman. She loved her husband most deeply. She and he shared a quite mystical love of nature and of animals. They would harm no one.

She was gentle, and yet displayed a characteristic hauteur, in that she felt that the world was soiled, and so she would come in contact with it as little as possible.

Your father feels this way also. But he is bitter against it, and wants what it has to offer despite himself. She did not care. She was deeply attached to the other brother. She collected buttons and string and papers, even as she collected animals. To her the buttons almost seemed to have consciousness, and when she was alone she would take out her boxes of buttons and hold some in her hands, and remember the garments to which they belonged, and when she had worn them, and how the weather had been; and she lived in a present that was deeply colored by the past.

Her husband did resent this, and he would eye her when she sat thus, but he did not say a thing. She had saved the buttons from his garments also, and she would say, “Do you remember when you wore this suit, and where we were, and what we did?”

Your father wanted it but would not pay the price for it. Your mother would never think of it as freedom, but as slavery, so she had no use for either of them. She never understood the desire for freedom from worldly concerns that is part of your father’s nature, and of all your natures. It was because your father was not willing to pay the price that he was attracted to your mother, although other elements also entered in here.

For part of him was determined to gain worldly success, and he was always caught between wanting freedom, but he would not pay the price, or wanting worldly success for which he was not willing to pay the price. So that part of him that wanted success was attracted to your mother, who also wanted the same thing, and he spoke to her with that part of himself only. So in the beginning she did not know about this other part of him.

He did not tell her because he knew she would have had no part of him. So when she discovered this other part of him she felt betrayed. To some extent she was, since she had been honest with him. Then when she discovered that he was not willing or able to go either way, or pay either price, she was enraged and embittered, and did not think of him as a man. So she hated this sister of his and thought: was this, this squalor, what he wanted? And she looked at Jay and was envious, and hated him for being the sort of man she wanted and did not get.

Your mother still remembers the early days of her marriage, when she thought that she and your father would ultimately, beyond doubt, gain riches and success. She saw herself as the beautiful grand lady. She saw your father as her squire, and none of it happened. The man that she married had not told her the truth about his inner self, this itch he had for freedom from worldly concerns.

(The shuffling Seth refers to above may have to do with the material on time and the electrical field. See the following sessions among others: 122, 123, 125, 126, 128, 131, 135. According to them, Seth would have to sort through blocks of electrical intensities in order to lift out individual bits of information.)

One small point here. I meant to mention a relative, Alice, who is a strong masculine personality; well-integrated, however, because of a unifying drive. In other circumstances, if she had children for example, there would have been great misfortune.

She picked up hints and signs. She responded to warmth in people, and was somewhat childlike in this manner, but she would not pay any attention to a sharp tongue. She would turn her directions elsewhere. As people can turn their backs, she would turn her inner self away.

He would do his mother no harm, and for this reason she can do him no harm. The desire and the intent to do violence almost inevitably brings forth violence.

There are definite reasons for this. The reasons have been known and forgotten, but the very practical facts remain. If Ruburt would indeed do his mother harm if the opportunity presented itself, then he would indeed be in danger of harm. He is not capable of hurting anyone deliberately, even someone he dislikes bitterly.

I will now close this evening’s session, and we will return to our previous discussions at our next meeting. I wish you both the heartiest good evening. And I look out for you two. I would help Ruburt if the need arose.

The sensations are a physical demonstration of an inner sense reaction on a psychic basis, or level, which you have not yet achieved, and cannot be expected to. The self would expand. In your relationship with your parents for example, such a psychic expansion of self would allow you to absorb your own awareness of their sometimes painful existence, and you would feel no wound yourself.

But with such a psychic expansion you would know that you had nothing to fear. Until you know that you have nothing to fear, then the fear is a reality and must be treated as such. This development is not an easy one, nor can it be rushed, nor can you expect it of yourself.