“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I can say that as far as my own memory goes, Seth has furnished a stunningly accurate picture of Aunt Ella, her temperament, etc. The descriptions here tally very closely with my remembered childhood impressions of Aunt Ella, when I saw her most often.

(As stated before, Jane met Ella twice, both times rather briefly some years ago, and has no idea how much she remembers of the visits subconsciously. Jane met Ella’s husband Wilbur once; he died a few years ago. I remember Wilbur as a small gentle man who was a tailor and who smoked strong cigars. He had a white mustache and a gravel voice. I recall that the family accused him of drinking heavily and of not taking care of Ella, although I recall no objective evidence of this. I always liked Wilbur. After his death Ella was moved to a nursing home.

Your father feels this way also. But he is bitter against it, and wants what it has to offer despite himself. She did not care. She was deeply attached to the other brother. She collected buttons and string and papers, even as she collected animals. To her the buttons almost seemed to have consciousness, and when she was alone she would take out her boxes of buttons and hold some in her hands, and remember the garments to which they belonged, and when she had worn them, and how the weather had been; and she lived in a present that was deeply colored by the past.

Her husband did resent this, and he would eye her when she sat thus, but he did not say a thing. She had saved the buttons from his garments also, and she would say, “Do you remember when you wore this suit, and where we were, and what we did?”

Your mother still remembers the early days of her marriage, when she thought that she and your father would ultimately, beyond doubt, gain riches and success. She saw herself as the beautiful grand lady. She saw your father as her squire, and none of it happened. The man that she married had not told her the truth about his inner self, this itch he had for freedom from worldly concerns.