“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(On Sunday afternoon, August 8, Jane and I attended the funeral of my Aunt Ella Buck in Wellsburg, NY, a nearby small town. Ella was my father’s sister and died at 88. My mother and father and my brother Loren and his wife and son were also there. I had seen very little of Aunt Ella over the years, and Jane had met her twice, as best we can recall. I thought it might be interesting to ask Seth to comment on Ella, so I also mentioned this subject just before the session.

She was connected with your father’s brother in this life. His name was Jay. She was connected with him two lives previously as a very beloved wife.

She felt that it was her responsibility to have a child, and so she did. At the same time, because of the child’s defect, she managed to produce a child who was relatively free of those pressures against which she reacted. She produced in other words an idiot, who was in his own way supremely invulnerable to the realization of misfortune, a child who would not grow mentally into an adult, and a child who would remain secure in a relatively eternal childhood.

(Here Jane’s voice began to deepen and grow a bit louder. Jane knows rather little about my family history. Seth is correct in stating that my father’s older brother, my Uncle Jay, who is also dead, was connected with Ella in this life; he was very protective toward her, and after he died eight years ago his wife continued to watch over Ella.

The child was extremely gentle in his way, and in his way he is still a gentle child. We are speaking honestly here, and so I will say that she would herself have preferred to dwell in such a dreamlike state herself. She was never a part of her century or her time, and she tried to protect her offspring according to her own limits, by seeing to it that his escape would be a more definite one than her own.

You must also realize that the entity who became her son also chose the circumstances, knowing of them in advance, for his own purposes. There are many character aspects to be considered here. For if each personality is an energy gestalt, then also each family group is also an energy gestalt. The actions and interactions form its characteristics and nature.

(As stated before, Jane met Ella twice, both times rather briefly some years ago, and has no idea how much she remembers of the visits subconsciously. Jane met Ella’s husband Wilbur once; he died a few years ago. I remember Wilbur as a small gentle man who was a tailor and who smoked strong cigars. He had a white mustache and a gravel voice. I recall that the family accused him of drinking heavily and of not taking care of Ella, although I recall no objective evidence of this. I always liked Wilbur. After his death Ella was moved to a nursing home.

Her husband did resent this, and he would eye her when she sat thus, but he did not say a thing. She had saved the buttons from his garments also, and she would say, “Do you remember when you wore this suit, and where we were, and what we did?”

Originally, she collected the buttons to help him in his business. His family was large and scattered. He took great pains in his work, but he was also frightened; and the world confused him and he chattered, again like a squirrel. But they were very free in their own way, and your father’s family never forgave them for this freedom.

He did not tell her because he knew she would have had no part of him. So when she discovered this other part of him she felt betrayed. To some extent she was, since she had been honest with him. Then when she discovered that he was not willing or able to go either way, or pay either price, she was enraged and embittered, and did not think of him as a man. So she hated this sister of his and thought: was this, this squalor, what he wanted? And she looked at Jay and was envious, and hated him for being the sort of man she wanted and did not get.

Your mother still remembers the early days of her marriage, when she thought that she and your father would ultimately, beyond doubt, gain riches and success. She saw herself as the beautiful grand lady. She saw your father as her squire, and none of it happened. The man that she married had not told her the truth about his inner self, this itch he had for freedom from worldly concerns.

This desire for freedom from worldly concerns is a characteristic in your family on your father’s side. It has not been given any creative fulfillment except in your own case, for they have been thinking in terms of freedom from rather than freedom for. They did not have anything that they wanted to do with the freedom, but only escape. So your one brother with his [model] trains, and the other brother with his golf. The outlets are extremely necessary to them.

Another small note here, but a rather important one: Ruburt has nothing to fear from his mother, now, or after her death.

To some extent he projects his understandable but regrettable bitterness upon her, and then imagines that she aims it at Ruburt. The mother indeed has no great love for the daughter. There is a deep rage inside the mother. To some extent it is directed toward Ruburt, but Ruburt does have protection, the protection of his own love of all living things.

He would do his mother no harm, and for this reason she can do him no harm. The desire and the intent to do violence almost inevitably brings forth violence.

There are definite reasons for this. The reasons have been known and forgotten, but the very practical facts remain. If Ruburt would indeed do his mother harm if the opportunity presented itself, then he would indeed be in danger of harm. He is not capable of hurting anyone deliberately, even someone he dislikes bitterly.

His own fear is somewhat a danger. It is much less than it was, and your relationship has done much to better that situation. I will at some time say more. Ruburt’s love for you, his ability to love in general, is his protection. So he has nothing to fear.