“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(On Sunday afternoon, August 8, Jane and I attended the funeral of my Aunt Ella Buck in Wellsburg, NY, a nearby small town. Ella was my father’s sister and died at 88. My mother and father and my brother Loren and his wife and son were also there. I had seen very little of Aunt Ella over the years, and Jane had met her twice, as best we can recall. I thought it might be interesting to ask Seth to comment on Ella, so I also mentioned this subject just before the session.

She was connected with your father’s brother in this life. His name was Jay. She was connected with him two lives previously as a very beloved wife.

(Here Jane’s voice began to deepen and grow a bit louder. Jane knows rather little about my family history. Seth is correct in stating that my father’s older brother, my Uncle Jay, who is also dead, was connected with Ella in this life; he was very protective toward her, and after he died eight years ago his wife continued to watch over Ella.

Your father feels this way also. But he is bitter against it, and wants what it has to offer despite himself. She did not care. She was deeply attached to the other brother. She collected buttons and string and papers, even as she collected animals. To her the buttons almost seemed to have consciousness, and when she was alone she would take out her boxes of buttons and hold some in her hands, and remember the garments to which they belonged, and when she had worn them, and how the weather had been; and she lived in a present that was deeply colored by the past.

Originally, she collected the buttons to help him in his business. His family was large and scattered. He took great pains in his work, but he was also frightened; and the world confused him and he chattered, again like a squirrel. But they were very free in their own way, and your father’s family never forgave them for this freedom.

Your father wanted it but would not pay the price for it. Your mother would never think of it as freedom, but as slavery, so she had no use for either of them. She never understood the desire for freedom from worldly concerns that is part of your father’s nature, and of all your natures. It was because your father was not willing to pay the price that he was attracted to your mother, although other elements also entered in here.

For your father was a great pretender in those early days; a dude and even a braggart, and he hid the part of himself that was aloof and sensitive, and wanted freedom. So he could be successful in no direction, for he did not know who he was.

The sister knew all this in her way. And when your parents visited her, your mother and father played the part in the beginning of the grand lady and condescending gentleman, for your father considered tailoring beneath a man.

Your mother still remembers the early days of her marriage, when she thought that she and your father would ultimately, beyond doubt, gain riches and success. She saw herself as the beautiful grand lady. She saw your father as her squire, and none of it happened. The man that she married had not told her the truth about his inner self, this itch he had for freedom from worldly concerns.

This desire for freedom from worldly concerns is a characteristic in your family on your father’s side. It has not been given any creative fulfillment except in your own case, for they have been thinking in terms of freedom from rather than freedom for. They did not have anything that they wanted to do with the freedom, but only escape. So your one brother with his [model] trains, and the other brother with his golf. The outlets are extremely necessary to them.

Another point I wanted to mention. Your father told himself that your mother, as a young woman, was sensitive and intelligent because she was beautiful. You can reread the earlier material given on your family’s past lives, and you will see further involvements.