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TES4 Session 161 June 9, 1965 18/91 (20%) ulcer ego permanence rejects sham
– The Early Sessions: Book 4 of The Seth Material
– © 2013 Laurel Davies-Butts
– Session 161 June 9, 1965 9 PM Wednesday as Scheduled

[... 9 paragraphs ...]

Nor will anything be gained by a patent and speedy program that is not solidly based on understanding, both understanding of the self in particular, and what you may call the mechanics involved in the creation of the illness itself, and in an understanding of those elements which caused the personality to develop the illness.

[... 3 paragraphs ...]

There is an involvement that would seem, would seem, intense. The ego appears to be extremely intense, but to a large degree this is a deception, for the intenseness is caused by the attempt of the ego not to become involved with action, unless the ego can dominate action. There is no basic trust of the inner self. The personality does not basically recognize or trust the ability of the inner self, and this results in an intense inhibited fear.

The ego of the personality does not trust its own inner organisms. It must attempt to stand apart from them, and keep an eye on them. The ego does not believe that they are treating it right. The ego is therefore in its present circumstances because it fears itself so solitary, since it has to a large degree cut itself off from its inner self; yet not entirely, for the intuitive still speaks.

[... 2 paragraphs ...]

It will be our concern here, therefore, to aid the personality to discover and use these resources. I will have more to say concerning the manner in which the organic illness has been accepted by the ego, as a part of the ego’s self-image. This acceptance does indeed take place in that area of the personal subconscious that is closely allied to the ego.

But this illness is not so accepted by the whole self, or by the deeper layers of the personality, although certain general tendencies from past lives have aided the personality to strike out physically against his own organism in such a manner.

[... 4 paragraphs ...]

This ego in particular, and many egos, consider that the self is the ego alone. The ego considers that therefore it must maintain stability and permanence. It therefore attempts to become rigid, because it considers itself the main representative of the self. It attempts to deny the inner emotions because the changeability of these emotions would seem to threaten its own permanence. It does not want to change. Therefore any seemingly small incident will tend to bring forth the explosion of these emotions quite against the ego’s inclination, precisely because the ego denies them so vehemently.

[... 1 paragraph ...]

This is why there appears to be two such diverse tendencies that show themselves. The personality is indeed divided. The ego fights the inner self, which means of course that the self fights against itself.

Reactions will therefore appear to be intensified. Nevertheless this intensification is a pretense that one part of the self plays upon the other part, for the very intensity of the emotional reaction on the part of the ego to even small stimuli, allows the ego to say to itself “I feel deeply, therefore I know the depths of myself.” And this sham allows the ego to continue denying those inner emotions in an effort to maintain its permanence.

[... 2 paragraphs ...]

The ego is indeed but one part of the self that speaks for the other portions of the self, but when it tries to speak for itself only, then indeed its words become meaningless, and the words become threats to the rest of the self. The discipline required in following our program as it develops, that discipline will itself represent the first steps to recovery.

In other words the apparent intensity of the egotistical reactions is a sham on the part of the ego, to hide the fact that it refuses to become involved with action as a whole, because it fears for its permanence. When the ego understands, and it will, that it is a portion of the whole self, and itself a part of action, then indeed it will not fear for its own permanence, for it will realize that being a part of action, its very nature is dependent upon change, and vitality, and value fulfillment.

[... 3 paragraphs ...]

One more point. The ulcer for example has reality upon many levels, and must be dealt with in a like manner, for it is not enough to handle it even from the viewpoint of the present ego; for indeed causes are involved of which the present ego must necessarily be mainly ignorant. The inner self however has at its command all these reasonings, and all these causes.

[... 3 paragraphs ...]

The very journey involved in self-discovery, the very self-questioning involved, is indeed part of the process of recovery. The energy being used in the maintenance of the ulcer will already begin to take new channels. The thoughts and anticipations of the personality have already begun to stray from the all-important ulcer to the causes behind it, for in this case, as in many others, we find a strange phenomenon.

[... 6 paragraphs ...]

It is however excess baggage, and can be cast aside, and will be. It is not a part of you like your arm. It is not a part of you like your legs. You can navigate without it, and indeed you shall. It is not (Jane’s voice became even louder) part of the image that the inner self gave you. It did not come to you in your chromosomes for duplication.

[... 7 paragraphs ...]

It begins to travel down safe paths, and out of fear it continually enlarges the scope of limitations. In the particular personality’s case, perception becomes also limited, and rejections occur. In this as in many such cases foods are rejected. In many such cases the ego itself chooses to perceive only within those areas where it feels safe, and it rejects more and more any involvement that it can avoid. And now the ego has the self-created ulcer to blame, and it rejects many foods, for foods are symbolistic of involvement.

[... 1 paragraph ...]

When I said earlier that the ulcer was not a part of you, like a leg or an arm, I meant this literally. Because you believe this literally, literally you have allowed the ulcer to become a part of your self-image, in the same manner that an arm or a leg is a part of a self-image. And it is this connection that we must, and we will, cut.

When you see that the ulcer does not belong to you in these terms, then indeed you will have no purpose in using your energies to maintain it. It is not part of your heritage. It is not part of the whole self; and now, we will see the purpose of the ego in all this is to protect what it considers the self, for the ego considers itself as the only self.

But in its overzealous behavior we find that it is instead threatening the self. Secondary personalities are caused by repressed emotions on a psychological basis that attempts to maintain an ascendancy. Your ulcer is indeed the same sort of growth, but on a physical and not on a psychological level.

[... 1 paragraph ...]

The very involvement of the ego with the inner self will be of great benefit. Nothing would be gained if I told you now that the ego would allow the ulcer to vanish, for there would still be a definite need on your part to understand. And it is indeed the understanding itself which will allow you to let it vanish.

[... 30 paragraphs ...]

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