“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

What you have been in danger of doing is using too much energy oriented toward the past, and this will also show itself in your physical reactions. Your trouble of yesterday and today does indeed originate because you have not been painting, but one of the reasons that you have not been painting is that energy has been used as a searchlight into the past, searching for certain origins.

You have indeed been trying too hard with the pendulum, which sets up its own kind of resistance. At your present stage of development with the pendulum you get a reaction that could be compared to a closed circuit, where the energy is directed into the past, into the personal subconscious too abruptly, and too intensified, and is not yet allowed the release of discovering full causes, which would then release not only that energy, but the energy that has in the past gone into the formation of various physical ills.

These incidents in the past, that appear as the original initiation of an illness, they represent points, or kinks, where energy is not smoothly used, but tends to bunch up because of a resistance. Now obviously the particular energy does not bunch up, but a pattern remains in the personality where energy is spent in resistance, and not in efficient action, and not in effective idea constructions.

The event is not assimilated. It becomes to all intents and purposes a dead end, isolated from the acceptance of the whole ego, and the most advantageous solution here is, of course, that the ego in one manner or another is made to accept this particular portion of its own past.

In his case, extra reserves of energy have been used in practical concerns over his book, although to deal with them he has drawn upon additional energies. There is still here a certain holding back, with which we must all contend. Unfortunately the knowledge that his book will be published, while bringing him much satisfaction, has also served to remind him of the manner in which he fears many might look upon both our sessions and his past endeavors in this field.